Mom was upset with dad so she went off on children. She cursed, slapped, and did many more hurtful things. She really didn't mean to act outrageous. But Mom didn't want to leave dad and so the honeymoon periods in the household came and went.
The family argued like cats and dogs especially on holidays. Siblings lashed out, pets ran about, parents acted like fools in front of children. The house could have been peaceful had adults stopped with wishful thinking that the good ole days would return again.
Mom will reap what she has sown when difficult children grow up. She will hear the feedback, "Why didn't you just leave Dad? What was wrong with you treating us like that? He just wasn't worth it, Mom!"
Future mother's day holidays will not be so blissful. Children will grow weary of honoring a woman who has little self-respect and has no intention of doing what's right. Instead, they will see the victim, selfish, brainwashed, needy, and insecure wanting undeserved honor.
Abused children push back. They rid themselves of the brainwashing that an abusive man/father is still a righteous man that mothers want so desperately to make others believe. Sons and daughters become wise. They realize they don't want to be around a scorned woman any longer. Love becomes distant. Children learn to protect themselves. Abused mom tries to reel her children back in like a fisherman who baits his hook with a worm tempting the fish below. She might catch one or two of her children for a time, but maybe not.
The same abusive tactics that were used to charm the poor mother are the same that she uses on hurting children sooner or later. The angry man threatens, name-calls, withdraws affection, money, etc. and so she too does the same to her children. Then she wonders, "Why do my children rebel? Why do they disrespect me? Why do they treat me badly? Why do they let others use and abuse them?"
Abused mothers will need to take a good long look at what they have taught their children to enable abuse. Break the tie that binds!
Nicholl McGuire the creator of this blog and others including: When Mothers Cry the book and blog.
Based on a book with the same title written by Nicholl McGuire, this domestic and dating violence blog offers support to anyone who is laboring to love an emotionally or physically abusive partner. Feel free to explore numerous relationship and family issues. Please be advised to seek a professional for counsel on abuse. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling, domestic abuse, and teen dating violence. Please be advised this is a public blog.
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