Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

It all starts... with a look. An accusation. A threat. Telling you that what you see/feel/hear is incorrect. Looking for others to support them on their lies, they act as if they are something special, a good person. Sharing with family and friends that you are the crazy one, meanwhile they are the ones with the mental illness. Blaming exes, employers, and even their own children for everything that is "wrong, bad." They make excuses for why they do what they do and might even cry and show a bit of empathy. They cover up, lie and isolate victims so that no one will catch wind of the truth. They plan to pay back for pre-conceived wrong-doing, for exposing vulnerabilities, for wanting to get away from them. They come up with clever schemes, pretending to be righteous and honest while lying even to God. They say, "You aren't going anywhere...you need me...I love you...I still want you...I will change." But they don't.... They don't They

You felt like you lost the battle.  You didn't feel heard, weren't respected, and there was no solution and/or agreement provided, now what?  Well, you can't force someone to go along with you if he or she is not open to receiving what you say no matter how valuable you think your insight might be in helping matters.  So what now? 1.  Find out what you can do to provide peace of mind for you .  Ask yourself, "How can I best manage the situation/problem on my end?' 2.  Be prepared for any backlash, because you took matters into your own hands. Have a list of reasons ready, proof, and anything else you need if your partner should confront you later. (Note: if you fear he or she will abuse you, contact police station.  An officer can show up to your residence without it being an emergency just state what your concerns are when you call). 3.  Know yourself and how long and how much you are willing to deal with when it comes to a difficult partner. 4.  Manage y

You chose that person who you once thought was something special.  You have been with him or her long enough to know that you made a major error.  So you have been working for months or even years trying to make that person behave, be nice, be understanding, be your ideal mate...so how is that coming along?  You exhausted yet?  Nope.  Those who labor to love abusive partners won't admit they are tired to most people; instead keep going, going and going... Meanwhile, hair is falling out due to stress, stomachs are often in knots, and throats are sore from yelling/crying.  In time, the pain shows up in one's body in places it has never been before, and each day that passes by one is getting older and older from over or under-eating, drinking too much, staying up late, taking drugs, etc.  Some abused, self-righteous men and women will focus on what they aren't doing like, taking drugs or doing those other things that "bad people" do, yet they are toxic in the way

Nervous, afraid, worried, and have other negative emotions concerning the scary people in your life?  Learn more from Nicholl McGuire , author/poet/virtual assistant, click here.

The Christian will blame the devil, the psychologist will say it happens due to conflicting personality disorders, the parent will call it crazy, frequent arguments between two emotional people.  One may have entered the relationship more sensitive to drama than the other, but by the time the relationship matures, both are hypersensitive ready to kill one another! Arguments, do you even recall what was the last thing you disputed with someone about?  They are petty, loud, and unnecessary most of the time.  It's one thing having a friendly debate over issues related to things like: politics, family, work, food and places, but all out yelling and threats to hit someone because they disagree?  What!? When bad relationships have arrived to the point of no return is when you frequently disagree about nothing.  Someone or both will need to remove his or herself from the shared atmosphere until the two are able to cool off.  But what if the "cool off" period generates no po