Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

They lie about money, where they go, who they talk to, and more.   Victims have learned to play a game of sorts on their abusers since they too are often lying.   There is no way you can stay with an abusive man or woman and not tell some lies.   They force your back up against the wall with their accusations, yelling, passive aggressive demeanor, and other ugly things they do.   So you aren't always forthcoming with the truth.   You say things to angry abusive people like, "I don't remember...I don't know what you're talking about...I didn't talk with anyone today...I don't know him...her."   Meanwhile, a victim knows full well he or she is telling yet another lie, but would you tell the truth if you knew someone had much power over you? From controlling money to transportation, an abuser knows that in order to keep his or her partner close there has to be a long list of do's and don'ts otherwise he or she will lose the upper-hand in the...

What are your boundaries when it comes to relating to your partner?  What will you believe and what won't you?  Questions like this and others are what I ask to those women (and men)  who keep accepting a story from a partner that just doesn't make any sense.  You may be the one in the group who keeps experiencing head and/or stomach upset, because a partner repeatedly tells you one thing and does another.  Then when this partner is confronted with yet another lie, he or she tries to convince you that "you are mistaken" or "don't know what you are talking about." Can I just say that this kind of relationship is mentally draining and will one day lead to someone physically abusing someone.  No one on the face of this earth who has even a little bit of dignity is going to keep on listening to a liar.  He or she will find a way to either distance his or herself from the liar or worse clobber him or her with their fists. The frustration, tears, anger ...