Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

They have all gone.  The parents stopped calling or coming around.  No conversation about them.  The children (or at least most of them) are not at home even pets have gone off into their corners.  There is no job stress, no significant money woes (just the usual) and neighbors, friends and others aren't involved much with you.  No one is around to blame, to talk about, to insult, or to distract you from the troubled one seated in the same room or sleeping beside you.  Now what? Oftentimes victims in bad relationships run away from their problems.  They resort to blaming others for all their issues.  From something not going right at an event to the attitude a partner gives them behind closed doors.  However, when there isn't anyone or anything to blame, then what? http://www.pixabay.com If you are watching this sort of situation unfold with yourself or someone you know, you can see what and who is really the cause behind all the blaming.  Instead, we like to sugarcoat t

"You made me do that!  If it wasn't for you, I would have never...You were the one who said...so I went on and did it!" the angry abuser retorts.  He or she isn't finish yet, it is only a matter of time that the manipulator is going to pay you back for calling him or her out on something he or she did or didn't do. "Why didn't you wash the dishes, honey?  You said you were going to do them.  I am trying to keep the place neat and clean, so I could really use your help around here."  the victim says.  The dishes go unwashed and other things aren't done, because the selfish and vengeful man doesn't feel his partner deserves his help.  He recalls the other day when she did something that upset him.  "Eye for an eye," he thinks. Being with someone who is quick to blame you for things is emotionally and physically draining. You find yourself having to defend your every word and deed.  Whether you have done something you consider kin

"If she hadn't jumped in his face, if he would have stopped yelling at her...if the two just walked away--none of this would have happened!" the critics always have their reasons as to why the woman or the man or both got what they deserved in an abusive relationship .  Some will even go so far to say, "I would have slapped and kicked her too!  He's lucky it wasn't me, I would have punched him so hard, he would have been seeing stars!  The two of them need both their butts beaten!" While so many lips are on their "Should have, could have" rant, another woman and yet another is being abused.  For every incident that takes place, there is an individual or group blaming the victim afterward.  "This wouldn't have happened had she..."  How can the mentally and/or physically sick, used and abused help herself?   What can be done when tempers are flared, arms are swinging, and kids are crying?  Rarely does anyone run from a fight