Tuesday

Controlling Women, Wives, Female Bosses, Mothers - Spiritual Viewpoint


Monday

A Family of Child Abuse and Molestation (Full Documentary)



A partner's child abuse can impact his or her adult relationships.  Learn something about your abusive partner's family history and there lies the bulk of your issues.  Once you know the truth, make a decision...leave or stay.

Saturday

Dating Violence While In College

When young women and men plan to go to college, they don't think much about intimate relationships.  They are too busy planning for the future, studying, and attending college events.  However, it happens, men and women meet each other, have sex, and then not long after find out they are involved with a control freak boyfriend or a crazy girlfriend with a violent past.  Mom and dad fought, sibilings squabbled, and the lack of money and resources brought their share of challenges to thoe household.  Then off these troubled people, with bad childhood memories, go off to college only to find out that life doesn't get any better when one's eyes aren't completely focused on those textbooks.

Men will be men and boys will be boys, so the old adage goes, but this doesn't excuse verbal and physical abuse.  Women have the tendency to talk tough and act rough too and when this happens, their behavior isn't excused either.  The stress of college exams, financial issues and more can make Happy Helen and Nice Nick angrier and angrier.  It won't be long that true colors won't come shining through!

Sometimes one can see evidence of a person's true temperment when he or she pledges for a sorority or fraternity.  Other times when they are under pressure due to leading an organization or helping with coordinating an event.  The pressure to be successful in college can be great especially when one has to keep a GPA up to keep a scholarship.  So with so much on one's plate, it isn't any wonder why he or she would bother with a demanding relationship, but some do for fear of loneliness, judgment, or worry that a partner may not help them.  The student might put up with much from someone who often threatens to hurt them or take something away from them.

You will know when someone in your group is being verbally or physically abused because they will start talking negatively about a guy or gal they are dating or become very distant.  They will often talk about "needing to call my girlfriend back...because if I don't she might go off..." or "I better hurry up with this meeting/project, because I need to spend time with my boyfriend...he tends to get very mad when I don't..." Statements like this and others are red flags that someone is in a relationship with a troubled person.

When one chooses to play Savior to a friend, he or she runs the risk of being a bad guy or gal because they are exposing a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend.  A friendship might end as a result.  However, that is just a chance some will have to take if it means saving someone who might possibly die at the hands of someone who is violent.

Watch for signs someone is being verbally and/or physically abused:

1.  Scars or bruises around face, hands and necks.

2.  Stories of public disputes that include threatening behavior.

3.  Negative or shocking comments made about appearance, whereabouts, friendships, family, etc.

4.  Being ignored when he or she doesn't do what a partner wants.

5.  Shaming the individual for his or her selections, personal opinions, etc.

6.  Often treating the person in ways that are uncaring, not affectionate, and rude.

Nicholl McGuire has enlightening, spiritual videos at channel: nmenterprise7 on YouTube.

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Wednesday

Does He Really Love You?

He is attractive, nice to others, has a good job, dresses neat, and smells good.  However, there is something not quite right with him.  He seems easily irritated, jealous when others come around, and can be a bit annoying.  Sometimes he acts like he is very much into you and other times not so much.  You have a few stories of feeling nervous even scared, but you tell no one.  "They won't understand," you reason.  But isn't the real reason why you don't say anything about how he makes you feel, because you worry they will say, "Don't be stupid, get rid of him!  You can do better!"

Welcome to a very real experience of many young women who know that something is wrong with a guy, but because of any number of reasons, they convince themselves that they will be "alright" while comparing their experiences with others, rather than focus on how they personally feel in their relationship.

Some women just don't let men go that intimidate them even when they know they should!  There is something familiar about these men who shake their nerves up.  These men remind them of someone or many people.  Whether a mate is like a controlling dad, a player type uncle, or an overprotective brother, the mind says, "He's okay.  Don't worry.  He's like a relative." 

Too often women trick themselves into believing that an emotional or physical abuser "cares, loves me, wants what is best for me..."  That's what they think.  But what the abuser really wants is a companion he can periodically get things from until he gets weary of her.  From sex to driving her car, whatever an abuser can take, he will.  A woman knows when she is being used and abused when the thing she values the most she attempts to hold on to ie.) her soul and he tries to take that too! 

Protect your mind, body and spirit.  Check in with yourself, "What has he done for me lately?  Does he really value me or is he just using me?"  Take whatever you have been giving up away and see how he reacts.  Does he really love you? 

Nicholl McGuire  

Tuesday

What Does a Secure and Stable-Minded Woman Looks Like?

The victim of verbal and physical abuse will need to be reminded of what a secure and stable-minded woman in a healthy relationship looks like.  She should envision herself the way she was before the verbal insults and violent attacks took place from an abusive partner.  What was she like back then?

A woman content with who she is and free of worry about things like: cheating, beatings, lying, and more from a mentally disturbed lover, is a focused individual.  The emotionally stable woman doesn't exhibit many of the following character traits found in her abused sisters such as: nervousness, forgetfulness, frequent mood swings, constant worry, isolation, substance abuse, and an explosive temperament. 

When others more beautiful and talented than herself walk into a room, the secure woman with her partner on her side doesn't become immediately downtrodden and worried that her mate is going to try to get a phone number or two.  Two people who sincerely love one another and are considerate of each other's feelings avoid drama, they don't create it.  But couples in emotionally challenging relationships, whether one or both are the cause of much strife, often have something going on that make most family and friends stay away.

The woman who has a life outside of her intimate relationship is balanced.  She is able to do the things that make her happy, lovable, and friendly.  But if she were to have a relationship where she had to fight her partner on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, her personal struggles would show up in ways that would turn those around her off.  If she isn't disputing with relatives and friends, she is pretending that she is just as content as everyone else through braggadocios statements and offending comments.

All women might want to check-in with their emotions, mannerisms and the way they behave with or without a partner.

1.  Are you often happy when in his presence?
2.  Do you feel that you are able to get your goals/dreams accomplished with little, if any, objection from him?
3.  Is your God showing you miracles, signs and wonders to assist you spiritually?  Have you bothered to ask Him?
4.  Do family and friends comment negatively about your personality?  Do they say you have changed, not for the better but for the worse, since being with your current partner?
5.  Are you often making errors at work, tardy, or easily irritated?  Does this tend to happen more so after hearing from your mate?
6.  Do you often wish to be anywhere, but with him?
7.  Do you find yourself envious of others because your relationship isn't going so well?  Do you find yourself lying, covering up, or exaggerating things related to your mate?

When you come to a realization that something just isn't right with yourself and/or mate, create a plan that will help you live your best life sooner, rather than later.

Nicholl McGuire creates spiritually uplifting videos on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.     
 

Monday

Stop the Drunkenness, Cursing, and Craziness...Keep Your Mind Sober

You weren't cautious around your violent boyfriend/partner one night. You slipped up when you drank too much, got angry, or hurled insults during one of your PMS moments.  He didn't forget, abusers never forget!  They wash your face in your ugliness sooner or later, "Look at you...that's why I treat you like I do...you are always f*cking up!"  These abusive men act as if they have never done anything wrong, they attempt to belittle you--make you feel guilty for acting out of control--even if he tempted you to go there!  When in a relationship with a verbal and/or physical abuser, there is no room for slip-ups.  You must tow the line, act like you are perfect.  Operate at 100% most of the time.

An angry man, with fluctuating hormones (think low-T or mood disorders) is no different than a woman going through the same things (like perimenopause).  The moody male acts as if he is okay, while the world doesn't suspect that he is really deeply troubled.  "He smiles often, waves to us...acts like a great guy!" they think.  But the reality is, the emotionally disturbed man's mind is like a broken record replaying everything that makes him feel uncomfortable when it comes to his punching bag, "It's your drunkenness, cursing and craziness that is causing me to hurt you..."  He thinks, "I am going to have to teach her a lesson she will never forget!" 

An abuser hates not being in control of another person's life.  He looks for ways to calm the strange emotions he experiences when in the presence of someone who he should permit himself to freely love (flaws and all), but chooses not to. He is more comfortable playing emotional games ie.) silent treatment, name-calling and saying hateful things to the one he claims to love the most. 

For the abuser, he feels more comfortable finding others' faults and shoving them in their faces, hating others, and wishing to be alone once again to live his life how he wants without need of a partner.  Yet, obligations, commitments, responsibilities of life demand money, conversation, care, affection--you name it; therefore, a mean-spirited man will fight it all until he sees some personal benefit that has no connection to anyone else, but self.  From what he eats to where he goes, the selfish man wants nothing to do with the woman intimately who is hurting, drunk, cursing or crazy--he takes no responsibility for making his lover that way.  All he wants is for her to sober up, so that he can take advantage of her kindness once again!

Oh, this aggressive, prideful man will recall the days, "When you did...when you should have...when you could have..." In his twisted mind, it could have been the perfect day "...had you not said or did...." you fill in the blank.  He blames you--he blames everyone!  In his world, you are not to do anything that will show your weakness, more specifically, reveal evidence of what he is doing or not doing to you.

He doesn't love you in good times and in bad even though he knows he should.  He doesn't care too much about your successes or failures.  He doesn't bother to compliment you.  This evil man, with a cold heart and an even colder hand, is a walking dead man.

So forgive yourself for your slip-ups, and try hard not to be around the abuser with your mind not intact--sober, because you never know the day or hour when a fight with him just might be your last one.

Nicholl McGuire

Saturday

Need Original Content for Women, Relationships, Dating, Spirituality?

Look around this site and you will find that much of the content has been supplied by Author Nicholl McGuire of Nicholl McGuire Media.  If you are in need of articles related to relationships, parenting, business, spirituality, and more, then send an email to: nmcguire7@hotmail.com  Nicholl also provides other services to individuals and businesses here.
God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

Thoughts of Divorce?

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