Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

The writing is usually on the wall early on in the relationship when you feel uneasy having a disagreement with your partner or friend, "This person is scary...I get kind of scared with him...What's wrong with her?"  The controller looks at you strangely.  The angry individual might take up your personal space by getting in your face.  You find yourself walking backward, cowering, flinching, or looking anywhere, but in his or her eyes. Sometimes these mean-spirited men and women take out their aggression on their pets.  You think it is awful how they treat their animals, but you dismiss it.  Some don't mind showing off their weapons and making threatening jokes like, "You mess with me and one day I will use this...You got it!  Oh honey, I'm just kidding."  Others will smash something when angry or make loud sounds to shake you up.  "Next time it will be your face!  Keep on calling me names, you know what happened last time when you said those t

The abusive man or woman vents, throws things, breaks treasured items, stares you down, or threatens to beat you down.  The more he or she does this, the more worried you become.  You walk on egg shells, worried that one of these days he is going to take out his or her anger on your face and other places on your body. For some of you reading this, you think, "Who lives this way?"  No one goes into any relationship hoping to get scared straight to suit someone else's demands.  Situations like this begin like a cat and mouse game. The cat sees the mouse and watches his or her every move before he goes in for the kill. For days, weeks, months, or even years, the abusive man or woman spent time learning how to get into the head of his or her so-called partner/soul mate/sweetie/babe. When a lover was weak due to a major upset in the family, his or her hot-tempered partner was there to uplift. When money was short and bills were due, the controlling man or woman took care