The Holidays: He Hit Her Again and She Said It was Her Fault

Everyone has to tip toe around her temperamental man.  She has brought much drama into the family when she got with him and people are angered with her because of it.  As the holidays fast approach, the couple has been arguing about money, family, and where to put a Christmas tree.  There is unnecessary chaos in the woman's home and it only got worse when he hit her, again!

This is just a made-up scenario, but it happens, couples fighting over so many things and relatives and friends can only further complicate matters with, "She deserved know how she can be.  Let's eat." 

Abused women will be showing up at family gatherings everywhere trying to excuse yet another bruise for being " fault."  Well, don't buy into that one!  Ask yourself, "Why would a grown woman have black and blue marks on her face, hands, arms, stomach, back, or elsewhere and it was all her fault?"  Unless she fell down somewhere with no one around, then okay believe it, but if her man is stuck to her like glue to paper, know that he did it!

There are abusive partners going to jail now, in the near future, and more to come, because families are getting weary of keeping secrets.  They are tired of looking the other way and keeping quiet because "He told me I better or else..."  The abused woman can live that way, but she shouldn't expect her family to.  It is better that she stay home with her drama, then to bring it to someone's home and expect everyone to play a part in her sick story.

She claims it wasn't his fault when she was pushed down the steps, choked, beaten in the face, bit, and abused in other ways again, again and again!  But it was his fault!  It was his fault when the children heard the noises in the next room or when others saw it all while they opened their Christmas gifts.  And most of all, it was the family's fault when they seen yet another sick woman come to their home that their son, uncle, nephew, or other loved one abused and they did nothing about it except gossip.  For those of you who don't say or do anything, if you claim to be believers, you know the poor woman's blood will be on your hands. Get her some help!

Note: Here's a gift idea instead of opening gifts when the troubled couple show up to your home, have an intervention and then send the male relatives along with the police over to their home to help her move or gather money for her to move out, but don't give it to her--announce that when she is serious about leaving him, the family will make the arrangements.  But whatever you do, don't send her and the children back with the abuser, unless she wants to go to another abusive episode.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of the following books:

Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
When Mothers Cry
Laboring to Love Myself
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl


Joy in the Morning

Weeping endureth the night
so who would have guessed the night

Baby, why do you have a knife
I didnʼt mean it, I love you, your my wife

lets talk about this
all things are possible with God in the mix

Put it down and give me hug
All I wanna do is Love

this argument got way out of order
It was my fault, sort of

but thatʼs doesʼt matter
I move slow as if I instantly gotten fatter

Was it the attention, was it my tone, could it be the money I would give all up if you will still be my honey
Let me hold you, no more mourning
Cause joy is coming in the morning

by Shane O'Garro
God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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