Tuesday

The Excuses Abusive People Make to Get You to Perform Sexually

Coronavirus Lockdown Sees Rise in Domestic Violence, Child Abuse


Victims are trapped with their abusers.

The coronavirus not only disrupted lifestyles, jobs, schools, and more, but also the will for many victims to leave their abusers.  When a man, woman, or child is relying on someone for food, shelter, and money, they are less likely to leave if they feel like there is no one or group that can help outside of their abuser.

Cities like Chicago, Kansas City, Los Angeles, Memphis, and New Orleans all experienced an increase in domestic violence cases while other violent crimes decreased.  The reasons for this include severe poverty and stress.  An abuser or victim who loses his or her job is not going to be a pleasant person to be around.  The daily worry of not having enough to eat, drink, or money will send an unstable person over the edge coupled with crying and/or fighting children.  Anyone within striking distance will suffer at the hands of an abuser!

When victims want desperately to return to workplaces by any means necessary, there is a good reason.  They may feel pressure from their oppressor to pay bills, purchase an abuser's many requests, or they simply want to get away from their abusive relative.  Work provides that escape even when they aren't ready to pack up and leave.

Children, who have been victimized, may have taken refuge in attending school.  At least for them, they were able to break from argumentative and/or violent parents.  But then the lockdown came, and now they are trying to survive in a household of mentally unstable people.

Despite there being a lockdown still in many counties, the hotlines haven't shutdown.  There are many resources to help.  If you or someone you know, needs assistance, call National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233.


Wednesday

The Aging Abuser - No Change, Just Tired

Just because he doesn't curse and act threatening like he did when he was younger, doesn't mean he has changed.  Just because she doesn't holler and throw things like she did about 20 plus years back, doesn't mean she is sweet now.  The aging emotionally and physically abusive man or woman is simply tired of fighting.  They don't have the energy like they once did to kick, shove, punch, or chase their victims around the house.  You know they haven't changed when...

1)  They still call you or someone else hurtful names while blaming and shaming.
2)  They threaten to hurt you even though they haven't bothered to get up out the chair.
3)  They still use power and control tactics to get their way--they might use their bodily aches and pains to win sympathy.
4)  They still lie or cover up their misdeeds especially past ones.
5)  They still don't apologize.
6)  They still avoid getting any help for their personality disorders or mental disorders.
7)  They still self-medicate with alcohol and/or drugs.

Some victims have waited 20 plus years or more to see their mean-spirited spouses and relatives change mentally, physically, spiritually for the better, but to no avail!  The refusal to admit one's brokenness will not bring about healing for the abuser or victim.  Using words like: "love," "commitment," "truth," "honor", "protect," and more are just words when there is no action behind them.

The aging abuser has become a master at throwing words around to get his or her way and the host of his or her own pity party.  The manipulator has watched others use their frailties to get the gullible to do for them.  They have listened intently to those, who have a faith, and have learned how to imitate them so as to appear like they too are kind, friendly, and humble.  Yet, the aging abuser is nothing like a sweet grandmother or kind grandfather; rather, underneath those lines, wrinkles, age marks, and weak muscles is still very much a devil who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy the unsuspecting.

Get a way while you still can.

Nicholl McGuire

Monday

Selfish, Violent - An Evil Partner in Hiding

They can't help themselves.  You should know by now if you have spent anytime with an emotionally and/or physically abusive partner.  No matter how much you want them to be honest, considerate, kind, loving, appreciative, or any other trait you deem righteous, it just isn't in him or her to be that way, at least not for long! 

Don't think for one minute an evil partner is clueless as to how they are mistreating others whether verbally or non-verbally.  They know full well what they are doing, they just don't know how to control the evil within. 

Believe an abusive spouse or date when they say, "I am bad...wrong for you...I have a dark side.  Sometimes I can't stand myself."  Yet, don't believe them when they say, "I am good.  I am a great human being.  I am a nice person.  I would never hurt you."  Those delusional statements do not accurately describe them.  To select individuals, evil people put on an act; they pretend like they are the best, greatest and most loving person in the room, but we know better!  When you are around your abusive partner more than their own family members, you get to see everything about them: good, bad and otherwise.  Most often family have not seen their dark side in years or ever came across it, so what do they really know?

The selfish and violent men and women of this world will convince anyone who will listen that it is everyone else that is at fault.  "Those people made me...I would have never said or did...if she would have just...I don't know what came over me it was probably something that happened to me when I was a child.  You got to believe me, I would never hurt a soul."  An evil partner has the capability to lie, kill, steal, and blame.  I say this as a warning to anyone reading this, if you suspect a dark side to your loved one, chances are you are right.  So be guarded and don't be so quick to believe any story that comes out of their wicked mouths!

Typically abusive men and women have a dark history with someone or many others.  One that so-called favorite relatives and friends might have forgotten about or dismissed.  Think about those times you saw them reacting to their partners or heard about them being mean to loved ones.  Recall personal experiences where your selfish relative told you yet another lie, false promise, omitted details out of a personal story, or sat quiet when you asked important questions about events.  Don't let their seemingly perfect image, money, material goods, and other flashy things distract you from the truth. 

As much as I would love to tell you that I have not encountered, lived with, been intimate with, or even sat next to violent men and women, I would be telling a lie.  I know what I am talking about and I pray, asking the Lord to continue to heal my soul, bring peace to my troubled mind when in their presence, and restore the years that the locusts ate up in Jesus name!

If you are in a relationship like this, you have spent a long time acquiescing to this man or woman.  You have walked on egg shells when he or she blows up.  You have tried to change your personality, speech, image, and whatever else you could to appease him or her.  You have tolerated his or her disrespect and made excuses for it.  You have found ways to survive in your mess.  But can I tell you, that God didn't make you to serve an evil human being.  He didn't put you on this planet to live in misery.  He made you strong-minded for good reason!  Selfish people don't want you to have a made up mind.  They want you to go along with whatever they want.  Evil people don't want their victims to get away.  They feel empowered knowing that once again they have lied, despised, abused, and used while you stay.

God is freeing so many believers in situations like this, give Him praise today!  Your breakthrough is coming:)  When freedom comes, Saints, don't grieve your old lifestyle like the Israelites did during the Exodus, rather rejoice in your new one ahead!

Nicholl McGuire 
God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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