Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

He disrespected her by having sex with yet another woman.  To add insult to injury, when he was found out, her partner gave her a verbal tongue lashing.  Once he broke her down to tears, between her sobs, she tried to tell the cheater how she felt.  He grew weary of her yelling and that is when he hit her followed by choking.  He threatened to kill her if she kept mentioning the cheating.  Less than a week later, she said she still loved him.  What!? This is the life of an abused girlfriend, mistress or wife.  After news cameras are shut off, police are gone and her support system has left her alone in her hospital bed, life goes on and for many of these women, they are back to playing the role of victim.  The abused will tell you that, "He is sorry" that "You don't understand, he loves me!"  Those on the outside looking in will never understand unless they "have been there and done that."  How can someone still love a person who wanted him or her

This wasn't brave of her, it was cruel, selfish, and crazy, she allowed another human being to humiliate her, beat her, rule the kids, teach the family how to hate, manipulate, lie, and abuse others. Oh, what a twisted mind will do for love! We judge, hate, and sometimes we cut off contact with abused relatives and friends.  These victims serve as reminders of when we were once weak.  We too permitted others to abuse and use us whether we knew their intentions or didn't believe what they were doing, either way we were being emotionally hurt over and over again until we wised up. Self-righteous victims and survivors are so busy trying to make something that isn't meant to be, meant while others have become so weary of relationship, work, and other dramas that the fight to do anything different just isn't there anymore.  Therefore partners can cheat while victims look away, children can be disobedient without little, if any, discipline, money is wasted on useless goo

I learned a lot over the years about why I made some of the decisions I made--good, bad or otherwise when it came to my personal and professional lives, but I never saw myself so clearly until I read a book entitled, Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood.   If you ever wondered why it seems you care more about others than they do about you then this book may be for you especially if you are in a relationship that is more down these days than up. We have all encountered some couples that we may have wished deep down inside that we could love like they do and we assume that all must be great in their worlds as compared to our own.   However, the truth is they have their challenges just like everyone else, but the difference is they don't allow them to influence things like their core beliefs, self-esteem, family structure, and other things pertinent to maintaining a great relationship with self and others.  They don't concern themselves with every little thing a partner say