Saturday

You Can't Be Idle on Weekends When in a Miserable Relationship with an Abusive Partner

Plenty of victims have learned the hard way that too much idle time spent around an angry man or woman, especially during evenings and weekends, will lead to sooner or later abusive words, hands, or more striking out.  People, who are historically rude with others, are not easy to like or love.  This is why many angry, lonely people take to the Internet for some social stimulation, because they have offended most folks who have been in their presence offline.  In time, their own kinfolk want very little to do with them.


Family members, friends, exes, co-workers and others have the mental and physical freedom that abused men and women have yet to experience when it comes to dealing with these difficult people.  The kind of freedom that victims envy.  They can be cordial periodically with their abusive sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, etc. while carrying on with their lives, because they don't have to live with them, sit down and have dinner, or do anything more.  Most people don't think about what could be going on in their abusive relatives or co -workers' lives, because "that's their business, I have enough to be concerned about in my own life."  When witnessing the reaction of those who might be aware of their family member's angry side, but could care less, it can be quite emotional for victims.  These hurting individuals know full well there is no help coming from those who are far too busy with their lives to give a d*mn.  This is one of many reasons why victims have no support systems in place.

So life goes on and it is left up to abused men and women to figure out their situations or enlist the help of professionals.  They can't afford to be idle around their hot-tempered mates otherwise it won't be long before a minor infraction turns into an explosive verbal battle.  This is why a lot of abused victims are constantly on the move, looking for any way or reason to be out of their abusers' presence.  They cook for a long time in the next room, they clean everything in sight, or they are connected with an event, organization, and more just to keep out of view for awhile.  Those who live with alcoholics do everything they can not to be around them and will travel with children until drunks pass out or leave the residences.  The same for those who are partnered with drug users.  Then there are those who have mentally ill companions and can't do or say much around them or else suffer the consequences.  I have witnessed all and experienced some abuse myself, so I can attest to the myriad of emotions one feels when in stressful settings where you feel like you have to walk on egg shells with an irritable mate. 

The victim, who was mislead by a lying, cheating, or mean partner, has to learn how to "keep the peace" and stay busy on whatever tasks might help him or her out of the damaging partnership or remain in it by doing what is ask so one won't be terribly upset on a daily basis while ignoring one's personal feelings.  As one victim put it, "You go along to get along if you are not ready to leave."

If you are just getting by with an angry partner, think about allowing for space between you both and quiet your mouth too (this means stop the arguing) if you have no intentions of getting a domestic violence counselor, Christian minister, social worker, or police involved in your situation.  But do come up with a plan not to be idle around this person who keeps fighting you about any and everything.  Consider additional employment where you can work on weekends, maybe help friends during times when a partner is at home, join a social club or attend local events just so that you don't sit idle with a temperamental partner all-too-willing to start yet another abusive episode.  Do these things until you have enough courage, money, and more to make your exit for good this time.

Nicholl McGuire
Check out my books to the right of this screen as well as helpful resources.  For the latest blog entries, please subscribe.

Friday

Waiting on God to Answer Prayer?

You have been praying for a long time, you need an answer from God like yesterday.  Be encouraged!  Listen to Waiting on God



Thursday

The Public Charmer is on the Move - Secretive, Argumentative, Angry Men

After the honeymoon period and more repeated patterns of abuse, I knew that my abuser was not going to try to win me any longer through niceties, because he knew I was on to his game, so he started acting cold and evil. With no smile on his face, intensity in his eyes, he added another stage to the abusive cycle I would like to call, "The We Need to Talk" phase. At first I went along with these invites usually where no one is around or can see you. Every time I did, I got set up. It starts with an exchange of pleasantries like, "How was your day? Nice hairstyle...I like what you're wearing." Then something is mentioned about an incident that left him angry. "So what did you mean the other day when you said...I didn't like how you talked to me...I heard that you told...." 


So you talk about the part you played in the incident without much emotion. You aren't screaming, crying or reacting in a way he might expect. You may even throw in an apology and then hopefully that is it. You might proceed to excuse yourself. I did these things. But it isn't over; "The We Need to Talk" session is far from over. My abuser brought up the offenses yet again in different ways within minutes or during another time that same day. Sometimes in the form of jokes and insults exacting revenge on me subtly. The words would become harsher, another argument would ensue, and then the ears and body would take more of his abuse. He didn't want to feel like I was in control. My being out of control made him feel like he was superior, so he would set me up to fail. Watch this sort of thing with any abusive person. This Set Up is to get you to do something out of character so that he or she can tell the world, the police, your relatives, or whoever that you were in the wrong and he or she is in the right. Stay out of abusers' playgrounds (calling them, visiting their homes, going to their workplaces, attending their churches, etc.) 


There is an inner voice that all of us human beings have that warns us of things not to say or do. Many of us have this gentle voice inside, but we tend to suffocate it with what we want to do right now. If you are a believer, who has accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, you most likely connect the voice to God, "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you" (John 14:26, NKJV). However, at times we grieve the Holy Spirit by not listening and obeying. "Do not grieve The Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption" (Ephesians 4:15-16, 30, NKJV).



Let's say your instinct tells you during a first meeting with someone, "He's not the one. He cheats. He hurts women. He doesn't care about anyone, but himself." Yet, he distracts your inner voice with a kind deed, great conversation, and promises to bring something to you he thinks you like. You quiet that voice with, "I guess he isn't such a bad guy." Many women will give a guy like this a second, third, fourth chance complete with a homemade meal and sex. Who wins in the end? Of course, the manipulator does.

How long was one separated from the public charmer? Was it one, two, five, or 12 months? Maybe it has been years of missing one another and now the pair are back together. There was plenty of free time between break ups for Mr. Charmer to begin a new chapter with someone else and then suddenly abandon that short book while re-writing an old one. What did the break produce for the private abuser? Well for some of the men I knew, they were relatives and friends who impregnated other women, caught diseases, and did other despicable things between relationship breakups. So the pain comes flooding forth once again for these hopeful women who just wanted a drama-free relationship. The niceties are thrown out the window as the storm of curse words come flooding forth; Mr. Charmer is caught off guard, "How did you know? That's not what happened, what I meant to say was...What is going on? I thought things would be different this time?" He must have forgotten the lies he told, the paperwork cover-ups, the people who don't like him and snitched, the after work trips to everywhere but home, as well as the e-mails, texts, Internet history, and other things he carelessly left behind.

Truth is hard to accept with men who feed off of building stellar reputations for themselves. How much money will he pay you to be quiet about what you know? What might he say or do to keep you from reporting those times he threatened or even beat you to the police? You might be contemplating everything from revenge to suicide while in a rollercoaster romance. Why doesn't this seemingly nice guy just behave himself?


He has his share of mental issues, the ones you and others know about and some stuff he has been keeping to himself for years. With hormone levels fluctuating, pains in his body, or unexplainable conditions, it is quite difficult to determine whether one has the strength to continue in such an energy-sapping relationship for a lifetime. There are just far too many challenges that have already happened and many more to come and unless one can endure the emotional and physical stress of being with a troubled partner, you will find yourself at times breaking far more off than you can chew.

Don't think that families aren't affected by the break up to make up merry-go-round, because they are. They hate having to see a loved one go through trials with partners who simply don't deserve their love. They wish for sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, and other relatives to do away with hypocritical, self-righteous, abusive, and controlling mates. Some will even plot to help usher a break up, while having someone else in mind for a loved one. Most families, particularly the males, do not support their beloved female relatives to stay with "good-for-nothing men" so I have repeatedly heard loved ones say about some trouble-making family members.

Excerpt from Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men by Nicholl McGuire

Tuesday

Bad Boyfriends, Bad Girlfriends - What Did You Expect? - Abuse

When you had set out to get the finest woman or man in the room or online or maybe you are a teen who sought the most attractive-looking male or female in your class, did you ever think in a thousand years that something might be mentally and/or physically unstable with them?

Of course you didn't during those early days of dating.  Most of us don't think about what might someone's flaws be when we are hell-bent on connecting with them or remaining with these individuals for shallow reasons like:  sexiness, periodic niceties and polite mannerisms. 

We don't bother to ponder why a mentally disturbed partner was single for a long time prior to meeting us or was in a rush to connect with us when there were others, possibly many others.  You might have thought what might have caused the last break up or you went along with whatever he or she told you while hoping for the best.  No thorough investigating, research, talking to anyone who was familiar with the previous relationship--nothing!  The last thing that is on the gullible mind of a potential victim is that the beautiful creature standing before him or her was once unattractive, abused, and used and never got any counseling for one's personal dilemmas.



Behind that alluring persona we might see on social media pages (that is if you are able to access all of one's site, if at all), like a winning smile, and other charming things is something dark--a hidden evil.  You probably couldn't put your finger on it during those early days of dating.  That fake smile covered his or her deep pain, that sweet-smelling fragrance hid a possible odor left behind by someone else, the physically fit exterior was a  mere distraction along with well-ironed clothes, so-called boasts of wealth turned out to be untrue, vehicles were borrowed or lemons, and more discoveries that left you so disappointed.  Within an emotionally or physically abusive person is a crack in his or her personality that might be broken in a million pieces.

Sometimes we can catch a glimpse of that "other person" when they are easily angered, irritated, or
harbor ill resentment about someone or something.  We might dismiss what we see to others, but proceed on in a miserable relationship.  We may avoid staring at a partner's quirky mannerisms while silently praying.  One can sense when another human being is going out of his or her mind periodically and/or gradually for extended lengths of time.  You know something is wrong with Mr. Handsome or Ms. Pretty, but you ignore the signs!

Well, when one persuades his or her self to believe that what he or she sees, feels, hears, smells, etc. is not accurate, then you learn the hard way, don't you?  There will be another fall-out and another.

From a sexual experience that leaves you feeling ill to the strange way a partner looks at someone else, you can feel in your spirit that somethin' just ain't right.  Well guess what?  You're right!

Nicholl McGuire

Monday

Steve Harvey: Why didn’t you stop hitting her? || Musician Kyle Norman


Put Your Hands on Your Partner First and Expect Consequences


As much as you think, you might be justified on putting your hands in your partner's face or elsewhere, understand not everyone is going to react in reasonable ways especially if one isn't mentally stable.  Think about it and avoid the temptation to hit, slap, or anything similar.  Looks like in the photo, this guy has bad breath too!  If that's the case, she could have just raised her hand up and kept her hand raised up but not near his face just in case he tried to hit her.  Something as simple as this can lead to an arrest, possibly some jail time, a job loss and supervised visits with children. Women can be abusive girlfriends and wives too! 

Prayer for the Troubled Mind - Personal Challenges, Sadness, Anger - People

Saturday

Things are Never the Same - First Insult, Slap, Kick, Break up - Dating Violence

You don't understand how did we go from talking about something so simple to blowing up.  Two people had personal qualms with the other and didn't feel it necessary to say much about them until that major argument or physical fight.  Why?  You might ask yourself.  "Why do I put up with this person?"  It really isn't worth the headache or heartache day after day, month after month, or year after year.  But one has to wrap his or head around the idea that freedom is just around the corner.  No more days of wondering what might a partner do next to punish you.  What might he or she attempt to get away with behind your back yet again?

Things never go back to the way they were when you are laboring to love an abusive person.  The mask fell off, the individual forgot to securely tie it on his or her face.  You see the ugly man or woman underneath.  "Why did I have to see that?"  You are turned off.  The personality disgusts you, turns your stomach like looking at a dead animal on the side of the road laying in a pool of blood with his entrails out of his open body.  The smell is bad and so is the appearance.  Well that's what it is like in time remaining in a bad relationship.  The person not only starts to look unattractive to you, but you can't tolerate the odor from him or her after awhile.  Sad, but true.

The recent anger outburst, the words that were said, and anyone or anything else that was around that day plays in your mind like a movie.  "I can't believe she said that...He was lying...I should have told him...The nerve of him to do that to me...She's lucky my sister wasn't around, she would have kicked her a$$."  Then you see the offender walking by you as if nothing is wrong.  He or she sits down and proceeds to carry on with his or her day.  You tell yourself, "I am bigger than this, I will get over it."  But you never do.  You don't ever quite see the abuser as he or she was before during those days when you couldn't say one wrong thing about them.

For some of you readers, you have grown to abhor your partner.  I suggest you use your rage to fuel a plan that cultivates a future of peace, quiet and financial increase (save your money don't spend it on a mean-spirited partner--people like this use and abuse).  If you are believer ask your mighty God to deliver you.  Gradually, you will find yourself more independent, emotionally and physically free.  It was a process to love that man or woman and it will be a process to let him or her go too!  Make God be with you!

Nicholl McGuire

Friday

Attentive, Common Interests, Loving, Sexual, Intoxicating, Exciting and More - The Crash and Burn

Watch for signs...the early days of meeting one's abuser.

Narcissists, borderline personalities, anti-socials all exploit people!
 
He or she was so wonderful in the beginning of the relationship, but that all changed...
 
These people establish a fake common bond like you both have similar interests.  Then in time, you find out you don't have as much in common as you originally thought, you were deceived!  These troubled men and women are sexually uninhibited, they are open to doing almost anything in or out of the bedroom!

When irritated or angered about someone or something, they often blame and exaggerate situations.  They are liars!  View their eyes at times they look empty, dead or soulless.  These individuals with their various personality disorders (typically more than one) are moody and move quickly to have sex.  They don't love, they lust! These lonesome and difficult people rush to get married, have babies, buy property, and more just to feel good about their lives without giving thought to all their personal issues or those of others.

They will attempt to move you away from your social circles on or off the Internet.  They convince you to relocate when you don't need or want to--they want you to follow their dreams and being that you may be in love with them, you do it!  They gradually take over your finances expecting you to foot their bills and invest in their ideas.  Check your bank account and savings and compare those numbers with the ones you had prior to meeting them!  You broke yet?  Are you in significant debt as a result of going along with their programming?  They take far more than they give!

They use partners as babysitters, benefactors, maids, and more while boasting about "How you are better than anyone I have ever been with...I love you so much and I never want us to be a part...You will always be my baby!"  They are very sweet and nice with words and mannerisms when they think you might be on to their games.

If you should confront them on their wrongs, they may be verbally or physically abusive over time.  If they should act out of character while the relationship is still new, they might seek your pity.  "I don't know what got into me...I'm sorry.  You know I just lost my mother...My dad is ill.  The job is stressful."

Selfish, self-hating men and women, who also put on acts as if they are perfect, better than others, more successful, etc. will find ways to belittle you especially when you accomplish much or they see the potential in you.

Abusive partners will at times make you feel sorry for them.  They will tell long stories sometimes void of facts so you will empathize with them.  "I'm a single dad...my woman left me..."  Meanwhile, they don't indicate they were a serial cheater, emotionally and/or physically abusive to their former partners.  "He didn't understand me.  I was so good to him."  But the damsel in distress won't admit those times she was acting in mean and controlling ways that pushed her ex away.

These people are hot and cold in their emotions.  They can switch from love then to hate toward not only partners but family members too.  They are not capable of loving you or anyone else.  Don't believe their hype!

Your choice, your battle, your issues...but whatever you do, don't close your eyes and pretend like you don't see that elephant that you allowed to walk into your life and crush everything that is in its path.  Chances are your social circle sees the truth and all they can do is shake their heads. Abusive people are interested in power, control and sex.  They enjoy the chase, like to play mind games and observe your reactions.  They draw you in and once they have you, their masks fall off.  You are not in a relationship, but a war.  To the believer, welcome to spiritual warfare up close and personal.

Nicholl McGuire, Blog Owner

Thursday

Laboring to Love that Difficult Person in Your Life - On Making Discoveries about Yourself

Whether the individual you care about or still love is a mate or something else to you, you will find that you learn a lot about yourself even in your mess!  The kinds of things that are hard to see at times and make you feel sad or angry.  But you need to stop denying things and start accepting truth.

1.  You discover what you won't tolerate off of others despite your putting up with your emotional and/or physical abuser.  Look at your own life before holding the microscope under someone else's.
2.  You realize that you are not as strong as you think and that you have a lot of work that still needs to be done to self-improve.  You may not be physically beaten, but emotionally, you are scarred.
3.  Your partner has mental and/or physical issues that you can't solve, so why bother trying? 
4.  You begin to look toward people and things you think you can control, but realize you are pushing them away, because you don't have yourself together.
5.  You notice that you are not enjoying the people and things you once did, because a judgmental mate is taking up too much of your time and energy while changing your opinion of others due to his or her negative talk.
6.  You aren't growing old gracefully.  You are often in pain or under some degree of stress.
7.  You have frequent mean thoughts.
8.  You might not be doing so well in other areas of your life like you did prior to meeting him/her.
9.  Your identity is getting lost or has long been discarded since meeting your partner.
10.  You may be moody, impatient, abusive, rude, brazen, and more just like your mate.
11.  You lie or exaggerate to yourself and others about your relationship, rather than tell the truth.
12.  Your children don't respect you.

One of the valuable things I learned about loving difficult people is I don't have to love, like or care for them especially when I know full well I have my own share of personal troubles.  Time-out for me!  Life goes on for me!  I put them in God's hands.  I am simply a messenger, an assistant, and a friend, but not a scapegoat or something that someone can wipe their feet off on! 

Difficult people will put demands on you.  They will tell you what they expect from you and how you should deliver on meeting their needs, but who cares about yours!?  Well, I don't know about you, but no one in this life is so important that I have to lose my mind, body and spirit in order to get what little from them I think I deserve from a compliment to money--no one!  When you do things like that, you are putting that person in a godlike position in your life that should be reserved for your heavenly Creator.

When you are programmed/charmed/swindled into thinking someone sincerely loves you, the truth begins to unravel.  You start realizing that what he or she claims is love really is not.  You discover you are merely being used and abused.  They might boast much about how much you mean to them and thank you a lot for all you do, but the truth still remains, he or she isn't in love or like with you, but in what you might call a relationship and secretly they see as an opportunity that the individual sunk his or her teeth into.  (Some of you readers might even have partners that literally like to nibble you with teeth or suck skin until they see a mark.)  These people are emotional vampires!  They suck your time and energy and before long you are left feeling much hurt inside.

When you see yet another relationship storm coming, the best thing you can do is remain quiet, look for that umbrella of shelter (money savings, job, home, hobby, etc.) and make plans to get away from the abuser.  Whether you walk out of a room or pack up and move out of the home.  It doesn't matter if you are 20, 30, or 40 plus or been married three months or 30 plus years!  Now if you can't leave, you will have to tolerate some things whether you want to or not.  It's unfortunate but men and women who have been in abusive relationships for so long do this.  They have trained themselves to just sit or stand and take the abuse while hoping things will be better tomorrow and the next and the next.  There are always options: leave, listen and take it, or argue, curse, threaten, and more right back, but all you are doing when you choose the third option is turning into an abuser too.  Two wrongs don't make it right!

Laboring to love is just that, you are working to love someone who doesn't really show you the kind of love that uplifts, encourages, cautions, and assists you emotionally and physically.  With each passing day you love someone who is mentally disturbed (abusive people have personality disorders), while feeling sick yourself, you are getting further away from your core being, closer to the grave, and not fulfilling your calling in life.  If you pray, ask Him to direct your path and before long your world will no longer be as you know it today!  you will see your life with a different pair of eyes and will want to do some things differently.  Your abuser won't like the new you, but keep pressing on anyway while you do you just might need assistance from a pastor, social worker, law enforcement, attorney, trusted friends, etc. utilize what is out there!  Don't try to do everything alone and end up far worse.

God bless.

Nicholl McGuire

Wednesday

The Answers to Life Questions are Sometimes Found in Family History

Why do you tolerate a mean-spirited spouse?  Why do you live where you live?  Why do you react to a partner like you do?  Why do you treat children and grandchildren in the way that you do? Where did you receive your teachings on how to love, communicate, and care for another?  The answers to these questions and more can be found when you look back on the history of those who came before you.

Drunks, adulterers, gamblers, addicts, pedophiles, abusers and more destroy families!

Ancestry is not to be taken lightly it molds and shapes the present and the future with good, bad and ugly.  As much as we think we are filtering out the bad, we could very well be guilty of passing on some mess from the past without even knowing it!

If one doesn't get things understood within and around his or herself, the person and his or her offspring will only infiltrate yet another generation of dysfunctional programming.  Careful what you say and do to a partner, children are watching.  Watch how you communicate with other kinfolk, sons and daughters are watching--sometimes what goes around, comes back around!  What might feel comfortable and normal to you may not be to the majority.  Have you ever bothered to ask, "How do I make you feel?"  What one reasons is okay to discuss or do in front of children may not be.

Family roots are like flower roots when you dig a hole and drop a plant in the ground eventually the roots will get bigger and longer and grow deep within the soil.  What kind of dirt might be found in your family that is impacting you and others?  What are you and others using to fertilize, water, and weed?  Something to think about.

When I wrote the how-to guide, Genealogy X What to Expect When Researching Family History, I recognized some patterns that continue to come up with each passing generation within my own family.  I also observed family secrets that weren't so secretive and through my research I found that if one doesn't address concerns and receive some understanding about the who, what, when, why, where and how of his or her life, there will be more of the same. 

Don't take family history lightly, a generation could be easily cursed for lack of knowledge.  Start researching today! For a limited time only use coupon code PM62D Genealogy X What to Expect When Researching Family History.

Nicholl McGuire Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate Blog Owner

Tuesday

The Quickest Way to Your Heart

Words.  The self-absorbed man or woman is good with words.  If you are laboring to love someone who is emotionally and/or physically draining, he or she continues to entrap you with his or her charming words, sweet apologies, and tops it all off with a few false tears.  Then he or she convinces you once again to turn over your body, money, vehicle, deed, or something else he or she wants.  Now who is really the fool?


Saturday

In a Relationship with a Control Freak Girlfriend or Wife?

You don't have to remain in a suffocating relationship, but just as it was a process to get into it, there is a process to get out of it.  Learn more.  Inspirational Messages

Thursday

You are Better Than You Realize

Someone or a group of people told hurled a bunch of negative words at you.  Repeated emotional abuse and you started to believe it.  Your unconscious mind received their lies.  Before long, you find yourself living a lie with someone who does the same thing that others have done to you.  They name-call, cheat, lie, gossip, threaten, isolate, and more.  Why do they do such things?  Because...

YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOU REALIZE!

They see the light within you, they feel your potential, they suspect you will do better, and they know deep inside they don't deserve you! 

You are lovely.
You are intelligent.
You are gifted.
You are kind.
You are considerate.
You are bought with a price.
You are golden.
You deserve the best.
You are sweet.
You are pretty.
You are handsome.
You are loved.
You are amazing.
You are blessed.
Keep your head up.
You are free.
You don't need him.
You don't need her.
You will get over this hurdle.
You will move on.
You can do this.
You will achieve.
Your children will call you blessed.
You are highly favored.
You are a blessing and not a curse!

YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOU REALIZE!

Stop being type casted for the same roles that others put upon you.  Stop agreeing with their belittling comments.  Stop telling others that, "I can't...I won't...You don't understand...I don't know..."

YOU DO KNOW!

The road to freedom is just a phone call away.  Whatever it takes, just do it!  The money is there, the new place is waiting for you, a career move is right there, a quality support system is nearby...

YOU CAN DO IT!

BREAK THE CYCLE OF POWER AND CONTROL THIS DAY!

SMILE AGAIN!


Tuesday

Time Your Exit Based on Safety Concerns, Supportive Network and Above Everything Else Personal Desire

So you have established the fact that a partner is mentally or physically damaging to your health, wealth, and other areas of your life.  Now what?

1.  How safe do you feel in this difficult relationship at least for the time being?

If you feel like an abusive partner is just waiting for any opportunity to strike again whether verbally or physically and you know full well you are going to go off like a maniac, then it is safe to say, you need to do what you can to end this relationship soon rather than later.

2.  Who do you know or could contact to help you send a partner packing or assist you out the door?

If you have no one to help you get away from your abuser, there are resources (scroll to the bottom of blog) to help guide you from an escape plan to filing for a divorce.  One of the first things you will need to do is find a place away from the abuser (be sure you don't tell the batterer nothing about your whereabouts seek additional counseling especially when children are involved) or use law enforcement to escort him or her out of the residence.

3.  How bad do you want to end the relationship?

If you are still "soft" for your partner, you know "in like" or "love" and still feel like "things will get better" then you are not ready to leave.  Every survivor who was truly sincere about leaving their mean mates might have left many times and then returned, but eventually they made up their minds, "I've had enough of this sh*t!"  If you are still making excuses for the abuser, defending him or her, pretending that you have a great relationship on places like Facebook, and telling yourself and others a bunch of lies about the abusive man or woman to make you and this person look good, you haven't been hurt enough to want to end the relationship for good.

When you know that you are indeed ready to sever ties or partially cut them off due to children, you will need to plan an exit when the individual is away from home.  Don't try to be that one who attempts to make a partner feel bad by making a grand scene as you or the abuser walks out the door.  Unfortunately, many people have died just before they experienced their freedom.  Remember if the one who has repeatedly hurt you really cared about you then why abuse you?  He or she might be emotional because you want out. But he or she will also be upset, due to the fact that this person no longer has someone to pick on, blame, use, and abuse.

Also, don't rush to leave a partner just because someone is pressuring you.  People like this may feel like "you better...you must..." particularly if your situation is like breaking news to them.  We aren't in your household only you know when you're ready to go.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel nmenterprise7
God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

Thoughts of Divorce?

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