Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

I am a suicide survivor. I am also a Christian. This article explains how anyone, but especially people of faith, can survive or help others to survive the tragedy of a suicidal death of a family member or close friend. My father committed suicide with an overdose of prescription medicine taken in conjunction with alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant that exacerbates suicidal tendencies in those who are prone to such self-destructive acts. I was 16 years old at the time. I was wrongly ashamed of my father’s suicide for most of my life. In fact, that feeling of shame is one of the great regrets of my life. With the combination of drugs and alcohol my dad might not have even intended to take his life. It could have been an accident. Their was no suicide note. He had no previous declaration of intent to commit suicide. The answer to that mystery we will never know. Still, officially his death certificate declared it a suicide. If someone asked how my father died, I would say that he died of a...

Have you ever been told by someone that you love or by someone of higher authority that words don’t hurt? Have you been told that as long as you are not being hit, that it is ok to be abused ? Well think again because "ABUSE" is abuse whether it is done physical, emotional or both and it affects women’s health just the same because both can leave lifetime scars that will and can hurt you in both your personal and professional life. The old myth has always been, if you are being physically abused to get out while those who were being emotionally abused were seemed to be told nothing! Is it a fact that words don’t hurt? If that holds true, then does it only become physical abuse when a bruised body part becomes obvious to others? Well, what about an emotionally abused person? Does it only become emotional abuse when you have started to believe what you’re told? Really there is no difference in how emotional and physical abuse affects the mind, body and spirit. Take t...

Have you or do you know someone who has been abused or been involved in an abusive relationship ? What is your definition of abuse? All of us know that physical violence is abuse. We also know there is emotional and mental abuse too, but do we know what it really is? What counts as abuse? I, myself have experienced physical, emotional, and mental abuse to different degrees. My family members and friends have suffered abuse from spouses and significant others, and in some cases even family members. If you slap someone, that is abuse, and we know that. If you tell someone to shut up, is that abuse? Is it the tone of your voice or the conviction in which you say it, do those things make it abuse? Name calling is definitely a form of abuse. Abuse breaks a person down bit by bit. Sometimes you don't make it back. Your self -esteem is gone, you become out of control yourselves, sometimes the victim becomes the abuser. Abuse will affect the way you look at yourselves and oth...

Let's face it. Our government sent thousands of men and women into battle. They didn't know what they were getting into when they arrived in Iraq. Of course we sympathize with them, and we pray night after night they come home safe. And when they do, everything is different. He or she has changed. They are not the same person you remember. Is it their fault? Why place blame, because we can certainly point fingers. But the bottom line here is that you will be affected one way or another upon their return, and a lot of times, it isn't positively. Short tempers. Anger. Resentment. Grieving for lost comrades. Why did the government send me there? Why is my life ruined? I can't cope with life now. My spouse or partner doesn't understand. Why did I get injured? I can't work now. My partner wants love and affection. I can't give it anymore. All I see is bloodshed. All I see is pain and anguish. No one understands. My life will never be the same. I wish I wou...

People define cheating differently. Some people define it as an emotional act as well as a physical act and others just define it as a physical act. That topic alone can cause some issues in a relationship if both parties define cheating differently. So, in order to eliminate obstacles that may later come into play it's always best to make certain you know how the other person in the relationship defines something like that. Although it's not pertinent that couples are exactly alike, there are obviously some important areas in a relationship which help uplift it rather than hinder it. And this type of topic can be one of those things. Truthfully, I believe that it's difficult to keep the romance alive and a relationship on a positive note if you're unable to work in unity with your spouse. Especially if one of you defines cheating in one way and the other defines cheating in another way. Usually, physical cheating is what we all refer to as cheating. It's ...

You have been called names, threatened, lied to, physically beaten , kept captive in a room, told to keep quiet and yelled at to perform senseless acts all in the name of love by the one who calls himself your lover, boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. People have judged you, advised you, cut you off, scolded you, and so much more just to communicate one thing and that is to leave him. The problem you are having with yourself and everyone around you, your mind and heart are not ready to leave at least not yet. So the following statements will challenge you to look inside yourself and evaluate your world around you and hopefully you will be motivated to do what is right for you and/or your family before it's too late. It's time to take out a piece of paper, pen the thoughts that come to your mind as you read. My daddy doesn't know me. Whether it was your dad or any man around you that you wanted to be close to as a young girl, but he just never wanted to allow you to ge...

What is your definition of love ? How do you determine whether a person loves you or not? Many people define love based on what they have witnessed their parents and other relatives say and do when it comes to love. Others may not have found what exactly love is amongst the people they know; therefore, they look toward books, movies, and music. Once they have found a definition of love they can agree with, they will show love in the way they feel most comfortable. Do you know what your mate's definition of love is and does it align with yours? The following information will help you assess your own definition of love, understand his meaning of love, and whether or not it is even worth staying in a relationship. What is your personal definition of love? In order to determine what is your personal definition of love, you will have to process what it is not. We all know that love is not a hot moment in bed, a thoughtful card, financial help, physical attributes and other action...

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate A 21-year-old woman’s diary to stay or go By Nicholl McGuire Education, popularity, and beauty couldn’t keep a college student from choosing a man who had a terrible secret. In this poetic story, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Nicholl McGuire tells of her struggle to stay or leave her abuser. Domestic violence reared its ugly head when Nicholl, a young college student, met a man ten years older back in 1996. In her first book, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate , Nicholl struggles with whether she should stay or leave her abuser in a series of poems that chronicle her hellish nine-month experience. Her roller coaster ride of emotions in the book provide valuable insight on the struggles abused women face when making a decision to help or escape their abusers. “This book isn’t for the woman who has already left the relationship,” Nicholl says. “Instead, it’s for the woman who is contemplating on leaving the relationship and the woman w...