Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

How long do you keep standing by watching a parent be abused?  How much more can you take in an abusive relationship ?  Someone is going to snap!  A person or the family will lose it one day.  Then what?  The enablers will want to defend their beloved, abusive family member. "I don't know why they killed him, my brother was good to them." "I don't believe my sister was violent.  She was always so nice when I visited the family home." "I can't think for the life of me why she did it, why did she hurt my son like that!" They claim to not know anything.  These family members in denial falsely believe that a son, brother, daughter, or sister "would never," "couldn't have" and "he/she was just a good husband, father..."  The abused didn't deserve death.  Although they are justified in feeling like a beloved relative shouldn't have been viciously abused or murdered, running away from the truth that th...

You heard the stories many times when women get involved with angry men (or men get involved with angry women) and before long the couples are riding on a merry-go-round of madness! She is often upset about Abusive Him while he is trying to figure out a way to let go of Emotional Her--this time for good.  The pair are often yelling, bitter, and at times downright rude to one another.  Witnesses try to intervene but to no avail.  Even God attempts to talk to these two during quiet moments of the day, but they aren't listening. One day they are in love and are defending one another like they were always on their best behavior.  The next they are fighting with one another to the point that someone is bleeding.  He says, "It is her fault I act this way..." while forgetting his personal history of mayhem with family and other girlfriends in the past.  She claims, "He loves me...we just have fights sometimes--everyone has problems!"  Not like this c...

Let's face it. Our government sent thousands of men and women into battle. They didn't know what they were getting into when they arrived in Iraq. Of course we sympathize with them, and we pray night after night they come home safe. And when they do, everything is different. He or she has changed. They are not the same person you remember. Is it their fault? Why place blame, because we can certainly point fingers. But the bottom line here is that you will be affected one way or another upon their return, and a lot of times, it isn't positively. Short tempers. Anger. Resentment. Grieving for lost comrades. Why did the government send me there? Why is my life ruined? I can't cope with life now. My spouse or partner doesn't understand. Why did I get injured? I can't work now. My partner wants love and affection. I can't give it anymore. All I see is bloodshed. All I see is pain and anguish. No one understands. My life will never be the same. I wish I wou...

People define cheating differently. Some people define it as an emotional act as well as a physical act and others just define it as a physical act. That topic alone can cause some issues in a relationship if both parties define cheating differently. So, in order to eliminate obstacles that may later come into play it's always best to make certain you know how the other person in the relationship defines something like that. Although it's not pertinent that couples are exactly alike, there are obviously some important areas in a relationship which help uplift it rather than hinder it. And this type of topic can be one of those things. Truthfully, I believe that it's difficult to keep the romance alive and a relationship on a positive note if you're unable to work in unity with your spouse. Especially if one of you defines cheating in one way and the other defines cheating in another way. Usually, physical cheating is what we all refer to as cheating. It's ...

You have been called names, threatened, lied to, physically beaten , kept captive in a room, told to keep quiet and yelled at to perform senseless acts all in the name of love by the one who calls himself your lover, boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. People have judged you, advised you, cut you off, scolded you, and so much more just to communicate one thing and that is to leave him. The problem you are having with yourself and everyone around you, your mind and heart are not ready to leave at least not yet. So the following statements will challenge you to look inside yourself and evaluate your world around you and hopefully you will be motivated to do what is right for you and/or your family before it's too late. It's time to take out a piece of paper, pen the thoughts that come to your mind as you read. My daddy doesn't know me. Whether it was your dad or any man around you that you wanted to be close to as a young girl, but he just never wanted to allow you to ge...

What is your definition of love ? How do you determine whether a person loves you or not? Many people define love based on what they have witnessed their parents and other relatives say and do when it comes to love. Others may not have found what exactly love is amongst the people they know; therefore, they look toward books, movies, and music. Once they have found a definition of love they can agree with, they will show love in the way they feel most comfortable. Do you know what your mate's definition of love is and does it align with yours? The following information will help you assess your own definition of love, understand his meaning of love, and whether or not it is even worth staying in a relationship. What is your personal definition of love? In order to determine what is your personal definition of love, you will have to process what it is not. We all know that love is not a hot moment in bed, a thoughtful card, financial help, physical attributes and other action...

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate A 21-year-old woman’s diary to stay or go By Nicholl McGuire Education, popularity, and beauty couldn’t keep a college student from choosing a man who had a terrible secret. In this poetic story, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Nicholl McGuire tells of her struggle to stay or leave her abuser. Domestic violence reared its ugly head when Nicholl, a young college student, met a man ten years older back in 1996. In her first book, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate , Nicholl struggles with whether she should stay or leave her abuser in a series of poems that chronicle her hellish nine-month experience. Her roller coaster ride of emotions in the book provide valuable insight on the struggles abused women face when making a decision to help or escape their abusers. “This book isn’t for the woman who has already left the relationship,” Nicholl says. “Instead, it’s for the woman who is contemplating on leaving the relationship and the woman w...