Sunday

Future Abusers of the World - The Children Who Have Seen and Heard it All

They are bullies, attention-seekers, angry, loud-mouth, sneaky, or downright evil, children.  They look harmless but upon closer inspection, you see the callousness in them.  They learned from the best, abusive guardians. 

Emotionally and physically violent mothers and/or fathers cursing, fighting, slamming things, and acting out their aggression in other ways.  Mad at everyone in the household, a father storms off after leaving his partner on the floor crying and yelling.  Mom retaliates one day, loses it, and makes dad bleed.  The children see, they may tell others, or remain quiet until they are old enough to fight anyone who stands in their way.

Slap a child one too many times and eventually she doesn't cry anymore.  Punch a son in his chest as an attempt to toughen him up over and over again, and one day he will pay the parent or someone else back for all his abuse. 

The pain received from an abusive relative, partner or friend doesn't go away overnight.  That residue left behind from watching or being a part of past wars can still be set off by many triggers.  Post traumatic stress of yesteryear comes back to haunt all of us when we least expect it.

I thought I was over some things.  I reasoned that I was okay until there was a word that was said and some behaviors I hadn't seen in years show up one too many times with an individual.  The little child in me wasn't about to let an angry man get away with anything.  A moment that could have been resolved amicably made me grow cold on the inside.  My eyes were blinded as to what was really going on around me.  All conversation stopped for me, I said nothing and the audio was cut off in my mind.  I didn't hear anything for a moment, but I knew people were talking. 

I started thinking of some past memories--ugly ones--all because of an incident that left me bewildered and angry.  I was almost carried away by many destructive thoughts flooding my mind, but I paused.  Silence.  The last time I felt this way I went on and did what every piece of my flesh screamed, "Pay backs are a b$tch!"  But not this time, I won't be held accountable for anything I say or do...Silence. 

I purposely made myself--my whole body not move.  Why?  Not only did I not want to stoop so low and catch the man by surprise, but there were witnesses, children.  Envision the future for a moment.  What might they hold on to if I cross the line?  What memory might take over their minds and bound them to a dark time in their lives?  As parents, we just can't afford to do something so bad, so crazy, so strange...that it leaves an imprint on our children and places our freedom at risk.  It's never worth it!  Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships

A past childhood can set the stage for what is to come if we let it.  Parents can mold and shape future abusers while they are stressing the importance of a good education, job, partner, etc.  The hate that some exude, it rubs off and if one doesn't fight against the temptation to act out on the hate, he or she will be swallowed up by it!  Children see and children will do.  Take a moment to explain events and share with them why it is so wrong to act out on anything they may be thinking.

Consider this, you don't have to wish to change the past, you can do some things right now that will make a difference in the future.  No more talking about leaving a bad relationship, start making the effort now before you do something that you might one day regret.  If you have a faith, ask God to do the following for you:

1.  Put more love in your heart.
2.  Peace in your home.
3.  An exit strategy to leave.
4.  Angels to protect you.
5.  Finances to assist.
6.  The necessary mindset and courage to break up and never return to your abuser again.
7.  Wisdom going forward in your life when it comes to dealing with others in relationships, parenting, and more.

Once you get freed out of this relationship, don't be tempted again to give another abuser access to your heart.  There are many charming men and women who are also cold-hearted, angry and abusive people who want nothing more than to replace a victim with yet another heart-broken victim.

Nicholl McGuire


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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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