Friday

He Fights Her, She Keeps Running Back

You heard the stories many times when women get involved with angry men (or men get involved with angry women) and before long the couples are riding on a merry-go-round of madness!

She is often upset about Abusive Him while he is trying to figure out a way to let go of Emotional Her--this time for good.  The pair are often yelling, bitter, and at times downright rude to one another.  Witnesses try to intervene but to no avail.  Even God attempts to talk to these two during quiet moments of the day, but they aren't listening.

One day they are in love and are defending one another like they were always on their best behavior.  The next they are fighting with one another to the point that someone is bleeding.  He says, "It is her fault I act this way..." while forgetting his personal history of mayhem with family and other girlfriends in the past.  She claims, "He loves me...we just have fights sometimes--everyone has problems!"  Not like this couple.  Someone yells, "It's not normal!"  But doesn't anyone in this crazy relationship wake up?  Not until someone becomes so broken until the point of no return.

It is only a matter of time where the two will self-destruct.  Whether that destruction lasts for a time or for life only time will tell. 

Some people are best left alone.  Some relationships were never meant to be.

Nicholl is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.  You can find them both when you visit her YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

Wednesday

Angry Man, Violent? Your Boyfriend, Husband


What is Your Family History?

A long line of abuse, mayhem, violence, and more in one's family history will contribute to challenging future decision-making if a child is not taught how to love.  Then when the child becomes an adult, he or she will find it difficult to break generational curses without the need of spiritual influence or something else that may or may not be good for one's soul.

I thought of my personal family history and was sick to my stomach when I heard all the evil stories.  Women were treated like nothing more than cattle in my family.  They were pushed around, told where to go, and given tokens of attention, affection and material wealth if they earned it.  Be a good wife, you get rewarded.  Be a good woman, you might get to have the privilege of sleeping with a handsome man a second, or third time.  Who knows he might even stay and be a father to your future offspring--that is until the next young woman comes along?  Be dependant on a man and you just might get to ride in his car, but don't ask to drive it.  Look pretty, healthy, and youthful and you might get to keep your man a little longer.  Be quiet and don't anger your man and he just might do something nice for you.  "What the..." I thought.  In so many words, I had been programmed to be abused back in 1996.  I will never forget someone (I will leave unnamed) asking me after I had fought with my abuser for the last time and the police arrested him, "What did I do?"  Back in his day, women were supposed to be kept in line and the police would not take a man out of his home even if he had abused his wife.  She had to have done something that caused that man to beat her.  That is the way it was, and that is the way it still is in some secret circles, church groups, and elsewhere to date.   

When we reflect on those who came before us and learn of what they did and didn't do to achieve love, build their families, or tear them down, we are to learn from their mistakes not perpetuate cycles of abuse.  But for some, they don't get pass their ignorance.  As one relative put it, "My father was like that, so I was like that and so that is just the way it is."  I beg to differ.  If we can all watch television, read books, listen to music, travel, and do any other thing to help us obtain money and other stuff for our survival, then I'm sure we can use these same tools to help us become better parents, mentors, friends, and more. 

Family history is just that history!  It was someone's story from the past that either helped or hurt a future generation.  It is up to us to do some things differently, if not for ourselves, for those who love, respect, and appreciate us!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and Laboring to Love Myself.
God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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