Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

They have signed documents that they really didn't want to.  Stood before family and friends and told lies about their abusers' threats behind closed doors.  Dropped charges against their partners for fear the next episodes of abuse might send them to hospital beds or worse grave yards.  Some have even felt compelled to stay in relationships because they believe their abusive mates might commit suicide if they leave.  Victims who have spent years being trained to react to their abusers' coercion and threats feel like backs are up against walls whenever an issue arises.  The abusers win and they lose.  In many victims' minds, there is no way out.  So when an ill-equipped advisor suggests things like:  "Forgive and forget...Just do what he asks...Don't make a fuss.  If you just listen to her, maybe she won't have to make any threats..." this well-meaning loved one is simply pushing the victim further and further into his or her mess.  Most likely, the i