Tuesday

Trapped in Thoughts - Abusers, Victims Idolize One Another

They don't think that they do, but they do.  People will idolize one another as well as things.  They love, worship, kill, steal, destroy, and more for partners.  Witnesses stand by and see the destruction.  They call them out on their foolishness.  But idol worshippers keep right on doing what they do.

The presence of idol worship is in an abusive relationship.  Simply put, the abuser and victim put one another on a pedestal.  They think much about one another--too much!  Thoughts stream into their minds frequently about everything from what the other is doing to how he or she feels about him/her.  The thoughts play out like a roller coaster ride, a merry go round or a swing.  It is all fun, positive, sweet or nice until someone gets hurt again and again.

Couple, Love, Sunset, Proposal Marriage

"I miss you...I can't get enough of you.  When will we see each other again?  I want you forever..."  Sounds so wonderful, doesn't it? At least in the beginning of the dysfunctional courtship all appears to be natural, genuine and okay.  But the signs are usually there, early on, something just isn't right.  Stay in the presence of an abusive person long term and what went up, comes crashing down.  He or she will make you sick!  Abusive men and women don't live up to what they say.  They are emotionally and/or physically suffocating.

"Where are you going?  When will you be back?  Who are you talking to?  Why do you act like that?  You are making me do this...I hate you...You are a...I really wish I never met you!" the angry pair yells. 

The thoughts go round and round in the couple's heads.  They can't move left or right without thinking about what might a partner think, say or do if this or that is done.  One always has to be on point in conversation, stay on top of things when given tasks, and never ask too many questions or bring up subjects that make the other squirm in his or her seat.  If you should fail, make one wrong move, say the wrong thing, etc. you pay.  Long bouts of silent treatment, pouting, cursing, threats, withdrawal of affection and money and more is what the abuser will do to get his or her partner to tow the line, walk the straight and narrow, or do what he or she says.  You worry often about how you are treated.  This is the plan of the enemy!  While you focus on a partner, you have little time for your Creator.  Therefore, the abuser and the Accuser has you right where they want you.

But what if you redirect those thoughts, turn them into positive energy, once they come into your mind?  There purpose is to keep you kept!  A kept woman or man can and should break free from all toxic programming!  As one discovers healing and release, he or she might fear the unknown ( the future), worry about the consequences (being used and abused for fighting back), or ridiculed for knowing the truth.  However, the human spirit is going to sooner or later apply pressure to get free out of the bondage.  It is unnatural, unrighteous, and evil to keep a stable, potentially successful individual bound to someone or something that is taking one's very mind and body.  If you are the victim, you can take your life back!

For every thought that arises that says, "I can't...I won't...I don't want to...How?"  The strong says, "I will no longer tolerate...I am better than this...I can do better...I don't deserve this.  I love me.  There is a way out of this!"

The day a victim realizes his/her worth is the day that he or she will be like the caterpillar who turns into the butterfly and begins to take flight.  Where will freedom take you this day?

Nicholl McGuire

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.