Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Spiritual abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse where religion or spirituality is used as a tool to control or manipulate another person. It may involve using religious teachings to justify harmful behaviors, exerting power over a person's spiritual choices, or creating fear and guilt around spiritual beliefs. While this type of abuse can occur in a variety of contexts, it is especially harmful in relationships where the victim may feel isolated and unsupported. Recognizing spiritual abuse is the first step towards healing and recovery.  The spiritual abuse that can occur in a relationship can be subtle and insidious, making it difficult to recognize. However, if you are able to identify some of the signs after realizing that your relationship has become toxic, then there is still hope for breaking free. Here are two examples of people who experienced spiritual abuse in their relationships and how they managed to break free. Example 1: Sarah Sarah had been in a rela

Scripture References for Further Study about Abuse (Note there are about 100 verses, this is just a sample). Malachi 2:13-16 ESV (English Standard Version Bible) And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” Proverbs 10:11 ESV The m

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Another episode of fighting and now you are thinking, "Why God are you allowing this to keep happening?  You could put him in his/her grave...you could make him go away...you could give me money so I can go!  Why?" Are you going through trials in vain?  In other words, are you sincerely learning from each instant of abuse you undergo until you are ready to exit or are you just taking the pain and making excuses for it?  Are you struggling with the thought that an Almighty Creator and his angels are watching while you cry and hurt inside from yet another blow? These wars with words, fists, money, children, and more are here to stay as long as you welcome them.  Re-read what I just wrote.  Sure, God, children, strangers and others are watching or know of your situation, but you are in control more than you realize.  Some victims just aren't going to get the help they need because they are unwilling to let go of the angry men or women who have become idols in their live

The "saved" abuser, self-righteous and others say, "God hates divorce...You shouldn't get remarried.  You're going to hell if you do.  Stick it out, pray about it.  What did you do to make him want to hurt you?" Whatever Satan will do to keep a victim under his or her rule, he will use--including spiritual people, places and things.  There are many abused Christian victims who wish they never brought abusers to church with them, because now the "saved" abusers are taking what they have learned from the Bible and beating them up with the holy scriptures! It wasn't enough to have to put up with the abuse from evil hands, but when one uses the word of God wickedly to get selfish desires met, it can be disheartening! (Check out Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic by Nicholl McGuire) The abuse tends to intensify when some couples (or just one) attends church services.  The name-calling, fault-finding, bad-mouthing, pushing, shovi

Women who have been victims of dating and domestic violence are the most suceptible to spiritual abuse in my opinion. You see, having gone through dating and domestic violence, I found myself open to anyone who would tell me, "Jesus loves you!" I was eager to return to my roots. I participated in a liquid fast for 40 days and nights to seek God's face under the urging of the Holy Spirit -- I was literally sold out for God! But just as Jesus was tempted at the end of his fast by the devil, so was I. He came to me in the form of false angels inviting me to all sorts of false churches and I accepted every invite. At some point I would end up defending my belief in God with tears in my eyes to a group of people who reminded me of my sin. They treated me as if I was under interrogation down at a police station. So I pose this question to you, are you in labor with an abusive mate called, "Spiritual Abuse"? Is he or she pressuring you with statements like "i

“Spiritual Abuse”, a catch phrase coined in recent years by Author’s David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen, is as old as organized religion itself. For most, the historical events which best portray spiritual abuse include the Holy Wars, The Inquisition, the persecution of many eastern Europeans at the hands of the Orthodox church. While many would consider spiritual abuse to be a seldom occurring event today, truthfully, it is very prevalent in the Christian Church, including mainline evangelical churches. Spiritual abuse is the misuse of an office or position of power, leadership, lay leadership, or influence to further the wishes or directives of an organization or individual against the will of another party. Spiritual abuse is not always subtle in appearance, and more often, like many other forms of abuse in today’s society, relishes on the secrecy provided by implementing it’s power over another in privacy. Spiritual manipulation, mental manipulation, manipulation of events as wel