Sunday

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire - excerpt observation on abusive women, abused men

I met some seemingly sweet, knockout gorgeous women, but they were dangerous--if only their boyfriends knew how they truly felt about men, I would sometimes think. But time reveals truth and those men would find those ladies out during explosive disputes. I didn't have any intimate relationships with those women. A few were single lesbians and a bi-sexual woman. I had been a supporter of various feminist movements as well as other heterosexuals that I knew. Yet, some of the radical feminists' foolish and bias thinking about men rubbed off on me during my youth and I almost went to jail listening to some of their talk about what they "wouldn't take off a man" and how they "would hurt a man about this or that if they ever..." I had no clue just how mean these women were. Why were they so angry with men? What happened during their childhoods? Why weren't they able to maintain decent relationships with men? I knew some of the guys these ladies befriended. The women always claimed the men were at fault, but never them.  

Over the years, some good and bad guys, who quite frankly didn't want to put their business out in the street, shared their abusive experiences with me privately and others openly on a variety of online pages where my work has appeared. Some of these abused men were driven into dark mindsets concerning wicked women having put up with them for so long. Good became evil and evil became good in their eyes. They defended their abusers, but also talked badly about them. They wanted to leave their lovers, but yet they stayed. They believed they were loved, but often hated by their crazed women. Meanwhile abusers, who had been hurt by their men long ago and some to date, reached a point in their minds where all they could think of was the following: where their men would go when they weren't around, who were they seeing, when would they be back home, what they planned on doing with their own money, whether they would be helping them out with their household tasks, and more. Some of these abusive women acted more like pimps then wives and girlfriends!

I noticed how a number of women grew obsessed with their men and treated them more like gods than mere mortals, but didn't mind hurting them if they crossed them. Like controlling, abusive men, these controlling, abused women didn't let partners go anywhere but to work without them. I also met lots of decent guys online and off who didn't do too much but love and care for their wives and girlfriends, but admitted that sometimes they acted a bit lazy, didn't always communicate well to partners, and had their share of personal issues. But for the most part, these depressed men felt they didn't do anything so bad that their angry women should feel the need to kick, slap, bite, claw, curse them out, or do other things to them like ruin credit or create false police reports. I agreed. --

Nicholl McGuire
She's Crazy, get the book today!

People-Pleaser, Bad Relationship and Childhood Abuse 1 of 2

Friday

Weekends Bring Drama in Miserable Relationships

In a turbulent relationship weekends aren't anything to look forward to for victims. "Happy Friday!" one might tell a hurting co-worker. It isn't really all that happy, one must go home. All a happy wish means to the one in an abusive relationship is the individual must do his or her best not to say or do anything that might upset a partner over the weekend.  Since many hours are spent at home on weekends supposedly relaxing from a long work week, it isn't always like this for those partnered with abusive people.  More hours together, just mean more chances for drama between two highly sensitive people.

Each moment that passes, he or she is walking softly, hoping and praying a partner doesn't take whatever is on his or her mind and beat the victim with it. Easier said and done being respectful, kind, loving, etc. When in a relationship with someone with a mental illness, going through a challenging time, or often influenced by toxic relatives or friends, you never know who or what might come out of a partner. The eyes go from peaceful to hateful in an instant. A soft voice becomes increasingly loud. The dog knows to hide. Children remain in rooms quiet. Here we go again... If you or someone you know lives like this, say a prayer.

Ask your heavenly Father to intervene this weekend. Allow his angels to come down and work on you and your family's behalf. All the while, start thinking of a plan of escape if you are a victim. The kind of exit strategy that will provide you with peace, better opportunity, safety, and most of all FREEDOM! Reach out to a supportive network at the church, hospital, school or online.

This day my heart goes out to those who never made it to the door to get out of abusive relationships as well as their families who miss the victims so much! May the deceased rest in peace and may their families find the strength to go on.

Nicholl McGuire, check out a channel that brings awareness to many emotionally and physically binding people and situations as well as provides tips on beginning the journey toward spiritual connectedness to the one true God. YouTube NM Enterprise7

Friday

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Victim Working Up the Nerve to Leave, Unsuccessful

There is no warning, argument, or fight just before a partner leaves. An emotionally and/or physically abused individual need not do anything more than exit a miserable relationship. What does talking over details solve? What does bringing up every hurtful thing the abusive partner has ever said or done to you really do for your spirit?

There is peace just outside the door. I recall pondering a long time on whether to leave my abusive boyfriend's apartment. I looked over my things that sat on one side of the room, a word processor, clothing, dress shoes, a couple bags and assorted belongings that were better left at my parent's home. There was enough of my stuff I left over between overnight stays to fill the backseat of a car.

All I had to do was just call someone to pick me up, put my things in his/her vehicle and be on my way to FREEDOM!!!  But I didn't--those stupid thoughts showed up. The same ones that for so long convinced me that he would change, that things would get better, he loved me, etc.

My abuser made me feel like there was a chance that we just might one day live at peace with one another. I looked at his things: freshly polished shoes neatly arranged in one corner, a mirror attached to a horizontal, brown dresser with his belongings carefully placed on top as if they were telling me, "Don't touch them."  His beloved black television that became an escape for me when I just couldn't understand why he felt the need to treat me so meanly on some days.

I liked very much that he was gone off to work,  I got a chance to think. What could "we" do to make things better? What did "we" truly want from one another? I was still allowing my mind to say, "We." There was no "we" anything!  Most decisions I made, things I did, and other life events revolved around him!!! I was soooo tempted to pack, to leave my trouble behind, but I didn't.

I stared at the door, it was calling my name. I even walked over, opened it and looked out into the hallway.  From the top of the stairs, looking down there was the main door--my exit.  But I grew fearful, turned around and went back into the room, closed and locked the door.  I remained in the room for hours, the place where we argued much. In that room, he shoved, tripped, and took a pillow over my face...he played with me like a doll when he was in the mood, I let him even when in pain and tears in my eyes, I let him.  In some twisted way, I strangely felt safe in that room. He wasn't there, but he would be back. The thought scared me, he was coming back home.

I adjusted my thinking once again to something positive--the hope that things had got to get better--maybe if I buy...maybe if we go...I don't want anyone else to have him...what if he connects with another woman...is he cheating one me?  I was lost in my mind. I really didn't know what to think anymore.

An exit seemed easy, but I just couldn't manage to get myself to do anything.  Turn on TV. 

What would it take for me to leave? I had a choice in that moment to leave quietly or to leave loudly.

They reject God - People Annoyed, Upset - Unspiritual

God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

Gadget

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