Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

After the honeymoon period and more repeated patterns of abuse, I knew that my abuser was not going to try to win me any longer through niceties, because he knew I was on to his game, so he started acting cold and evil. With no smile on his face, intensity in his eyes, he added another stage to the abusive cycle I would like to call, "The We Need to Talk" phase. At first I went along with these invites usually where no one is around or can see you. Every time I did, I got set up. It starts with an exchange of pleasantries like, "How was your day? Nice hairstyle...I like what you're wearing." Then something is mentioned about an incident that left him angry. "So what did you mean the other day when you said...I didn't like how you talked to me...I heard that you told...."  So you talk about the part you played in the incident without much emotion. You aren't screaming, crying or reacting in a way he might expect. You may even thr...

Still emotionally high on that nice time a victim had with his or her abuser over the holidays, the victim hopes for the best concerning his or her relationship.  Relatives and friends may have encouraged him or her to stay with well-wishes and promises to pray.  Persuading one's self into believing that there is still a chance for a quality relationship sprinkled with toxicity, the victim shuts out past negativity for a time telling his or herself, "Forgive and forget."  Church visiting and man-made religion further programs the abused to stick out a bad relationship long past red alert signs and warnings from witnesses. Victims will gravitate to messages of forgiveness and pray while hoping a righteous God will put a stamp of approval on their poor selection of a mate (the Bible warns not to get involved with an angry man and not to be unequally yoked.  In addition, to reminding believers that the body is ...