Sunday

Perfectionists Can Be Suicidal: How to Avoid the Dark Thoughts of Suicide

Perfectionists Can Be Suicidal: How to Avoid the Dark Thoughts of Suicide
Ever wonder why you start off in love with life, love, work, school or family, then later you can't stand yourself or anyone or anything else? Are you a perfectionist heading down a path of suicide?
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Tuesday

Domestic Violence - What Mothers Must Teach Their Sons

It wasn't too long ago that many of us were reeling from the news of domestic violence involving singers Chris Brown and Rihanna. According to the Domestic Violence Resource Center, more than one million people, on average, are victims of domestic violence each year.

The vast majority of victims are women, and if there is any hope to lessen domestic violence, it's important that we start educating our sons about it at an early age. This includes:

1. What Constitutes Domestic Violence. While many people think of domestic violence as a man consistently abusing a woman, we must help them understand that domestic violence is any violence which takes place amongst family members or those in an intimate relationship and that it can be a one time occurrence or continuous.

2. Respect For Women. Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Men who have little respect for women can often get abusive when things go awry. We must continue to teach our sons that women are to be treated with respect and that this means they should love, cherish and never harm them.

3. Don't Remain In An Unhealthy Relationship. In this culture, where many of our young men are being raised by single mothers, without any or minimal interaction with male role models, their vision of masculinity can get skewed. The same is true for young men who grow up in abusive two parent households. In such cases, these young men may believe that love is chaotic so they emulate what they've seen. This is why it's important for moms to ensure their sons also see examples of healthy relationships and men who represent the example they want their sons to be. Our society is filled with men who are good men and our families are filled with couples who have healthy relationships. We may have to seek those examples out, but it's imperative that we do.

Additionally, we should remind our sons that domestic violence is a two way street and can also involve a woman hitting a man. As such, we should encourage our sons that if they are in a relationship where the woman gets physical, i.e., pushing, hitting, biting, slapping, etc. that they terminate the relationship because this type of behavior represents the emerging stages of what could escalate into unthinkable tragedy.

4. Violence Never Solves Anything. We must reiterate to our sons that no matter how angry they may become about a situation that violence or use of force, absent of self defense, is not an acceptable form of behavior and that there are better ways to handle their anger than harming another human being.

In the end, there is a lot we can do to lessen the number of domestic violence incidents that occur each year. One such thing is educating our sons about the importance of healthy relationships and better ways to handle their anger than the use of violence.

Kimberley Crouch is an attorney/author/radio show host. Kim is founder of First Generation Publishing and author of Mother To Son: Words of Wisdom, Inspiration and Hope for Today's Young African American Men. Known as the 100% Mom (someone 100% committed to the health, welfare and education of every child), Kim is a firm believer that one person can make a difference. To learn more about Kimberley Crouch, go to http://www.kimcrouch.com.

Monday

Signs of Physical-Sexual Child Abuse in Adults

As an adult have you experienced-but not limited to the following?

• Little or no memory of childhood-age 3 to 12
• Trouble with relationships-on the job, in your family
• Low self-esteem
• Panic attacks-mild to severe
• Anxiety
• Phobias
• Depression
• Inability to trust or trusting indiscriminately
• alcohol/drug abuse
• Obsessive compulsive behavior
• Nightmares of being chased, trapped or surreal
• Sensory flashes-unable to identify images
• Insomnia
• Suicidal thoughts or attempts
• A sense of going crazy or feeling unreal compared to others
• Shame, guilt
• Sense of underlying humiliation
• Baseless crying
• Angry outbursts/rage seemingly for no reason
• Inability to recognize feelings
• Mood swings
• Emotional shut down
• Numbing or zoning out
• Arthritis/joint pain
• Diagnosis of ADD or ADHD,
• Labeled an 'airhead'
• Chronic/acute fear
• Headaches/migraines
• Eating disorders-anorexia, bulimia, obesity
• PMS
• Vaginismus
• Gastrointestinal/gynecological disorders
• Chronic fatigue
• MS
• Fibromyalgia
• Lupus
• Chronic back pain-L3, L4 and/or L5 region
• Cancer-predominately-vaginal, cervical or ovarian in women; testicular, prostate in men; however cancer of any kind can be as a result of physical or sexual abuse. Cancer is anger/rage turned against the self
• Prostitute/promiscuous sex
• Inability to orgasm
• Dissociative Identity Disorder-Multiple Personality Disorder
• Self-injury-self-abuse, self-mutilation (cutting, burning, breaking bones, pinching skin, ingesting, injecting and inserting foreign materials, interfering with the healing process of wounds, punching, slapping, picking skin, pulling hair, bloodletting, tattooing, piercing
• Wearing baggy clothes or clothes a size or two sizes too large
• Aversion to opposite sex-including homosexuality/lesbian
• Use of pornography-print, video
• Enjoy peep shows, topless dancers
• Become a porn star or pimp
• Sex offenders-male and female

If you have experienced one or more of these 'symptoms' you are more likely a physical and/or sexual abuse survivor than not--albeit you may have no memory.

Healing the emotional wounds of physical or sexual abuse is possible. Talk therapy, antidepressants and/or antipsychotic drugs are inadequate to uncover the emotional pain, and heal the trauma trapped in muscles and tissue. To fully appreciate the depth of this pain, I will quote one of my clients, "Even my blood hurts." A multifaceted healing process specifically focused on physical and sexual abuse recovery and diligent work is the most effective; wherein the survivor can replenish their emotional and spiritual identity and empowerment.


Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Friday

How To Get Rid Of Addiction And Abuse

Tell me, does this describe someone you know?

Some people who feel inferior use an addiction to try to overcome weaknesses, especially in times of increased stress or deep inner conflict. A person’s inner inferiority complex reveals itself in his or her actions such as addiction, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, compulsive eating, blame and aggression among others.

No successful person desires a destructive addiction. What people who choose addiction or abuse really want is the power and ability to create better lives.

Fearing they do not have this power to improve their lives, you will hear these people use excuses and blame to justify their addiction and abuse and protect what little dignity they feel they have left.

If you find yourself or others dealing with addiction or abuse, instead of justifying or blaming, ask the following questions:

Do I really want healing and resolution for this addiction or abuse?

Am I willing to improve myself to achieve healing?

Do I realize I can’t control others? The only one I can control is me.

Am I willing to take the first step for myself and get rid of my addiction, abuse excuses, blame and other destructive habits to achieve peace and happiness?

Alcohol abuse and drug abuse are common crutches today. I have met many people who feel tongue-tied or awkward at social events. They find a few cocktails or beers “give them a lift” turning them from introvert to extrovert. There are many people who drink to feel better about themselves, even to the point of abuse or addiction.

For an article entitled Lori Prokop Interviews the Experts, one doctor said to me, “It’s sad but true. A seemingly innocent use of alcohol can quickly and easily become an addiction, especially if people perceive they are someway ‘improved’ when they drink.”

Alcohol abuse, drug abuse and any other addiction are serious forms of personal loss. The people, who depend on any exterior addiction or abuse rather than improving their perceived weaknesses and healing their pains, are beaten from the start.

Such a person can find healing. They must get rid of the addiction and abuse, find a healing system which works and resolve their fears and pains.


Learn how to heal abuse and create what you want in life. Lori Prokop shows how to heal the world and people in it. Resolve conflict without giving in. Have more love. Visit http://www.howtohealabuse.com for your FREE Report and create what you want.
God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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