Based on a book with the same title written by Nicholl McGuire, this domestic and dating violence blog offers support to anyone who is laboring to love an emotionally or physically abusive partner. Feel free to explore numerous relationship and family issues. Please be advised to seek a professional for counsel on abuse. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling, domestic abuse, and teen dating violence. Please be advised this is a public blog.
Thursday
Wednesday
You Need a Personal Relationship with the Lord?
For more motivational podcasts, see inspirational speaker and author Nicholl McGuire's YouTube channel.
Tuesday
Teen Dating Violence Awareness - Your Children Might Repeat the Pattern They Grew Up with Sooner or Later
Mom curses, Dad lies, and parents push one another beyond their limits. A teen watches and he or she waits for the day one is in an argument with his or her boyfriend. The scenario of heated discussion evolving into relationship violence is repeated. At some point during the conflict between abusive girlfriend and boyfriend, it starts to feel familiar. Despite the situation being emotionally and physically upsetting, the pair thinks they are justified in behaving irrationally. A partner might spit, kick, push, punch, yell while calling his or her victim every name he or she can think of. It isn't love that is occurring, but war with these young victims. Where did they learn their abusive behaviors? From parents, guardians, or grandparents who either took too long to end a bad relationship with a partner or with other family members as well as those who choose to continue to stay while making excuses for their mean-spirited husbands or wives.
Whether the abuse is physical or not, the point is if mom or dad is in a toxic relationship with someone who is controlling, mean, insecure, etc. he or she is teaching children that it's okay to be mistreated. The person is saying with his or her actions, "This is how you behave when your man/woman is angry with you." A parent might be quiet and docile attempting to keep the peace by appeasing the angry, verbally abusive partner or the victim responds just as bad, if not worse attacking back. The elder is teaching a child (or even a grown son or daughter) how to fight in unhealthy ways that will only lead to further emotional damage and future intimacy problems for his or her child.
No amount of sex, money, or fame is worth staying with someone while teaching a teen that "Everything will be alright...you'll see. I know you saw me lose my cool, we are still okay, Dad and I." Until the next time and the next. Would you permit your teen to be disrespected like you? Would you stand by and let your child's boyfriend or girlfriend abuse something so special that came from you? If you love your son or daughter, you wouldn't. Then do something different in your life. Being a good role model goes beyond looking nice and smelling good, you have to do the kind of things that show you are independent, strong, and empowered. Being a crying, clingy, and scared woman or man is not the way to go. Avoid the temptation to shoot the messengers in your life, just do something different! Don't advise so much with your mouth, your teen is watching for your answers to problems.
Nicholl McGuire a witness to many passive victims tell me growing up, "I'm just keeping the peace."
Whether the abuse is physical or not, the point is if mom or dad is in a toxic relationship with someone who is controlling, mean, insecure, etc. he or she is teaching children that it's okay to be mistreated. The person is saying with his or her actions, "This is how you behave when your man/woman is angry with you." A parent might be quiet and docile attempting to keep the peace by appeasing the angry, verbally abusive partner or the victim responds just as bad, if not worse attacking back. The elder is teaching a child (or even a grown son or daughter) how to fight in unhealthy ways that will only lead to further emotional damage and future intimacy problems for his or her child.
No amount of sex, money, or fame is worth staying with someone while teaching a teen that "Everything will be alright...you'll see. I know you saw me lose my cool, we are still okay, Dad and I." Until the next time and the next. Would you permit your teen to be disrespected like you? Would you stand by and let your child's boyfriend or girlfriend abuse something so special that came from you? If you love your son or daughter, you wouldn't. Then do something different in your life. Being a good role model goes beyond looking nice and smelling good, you have to do the kind of things that show you are independent, strong, and empowered. Being a crying, clingy, and scared woman or man is not the way to go. Avoid the temptation to shoot the messengers in your life, just do something different! Don't advise so much with your mouth, your teen is watching for your answers to problems.
Nicholl McGuire a witness to many passive victims tell me growing up, "I'm just keeping the peace."
New You, New Life and New Dating Apps
For those who are sincerely ready to move on with their lives, don't feel alone and avoid the worry and stress that comes when you think no one is going to want you because you suffered so long with someone you should have cut out of your life long ago. Being single again is definitely a mindset you must take the time to work on before you leave a relationship and while you are on your own once again. It might feel so overwhelming to think about moving on with your life potentially with someone else, but don't stress about it. With enough time nurturing yourself, regaining your self esteem, and more, you will be well on your way to a wonderful life!
Imagine no longer worrying about where a mate is going and whether or not he or she is telling you the truth. Picture your money in your bank account slowly being spent your way rather than it rapidly being spent on things that have little to do with you and a lot to do with a miserable mate. Envision yourself driving your own vehicle on a full tank of gas, cleaning your dishware, doing your laundry, and not the least bit bothered by having just one more task to do for a deceptive partner.
It is a great feeling! You can enjoy your life your way! When you are ready to date again, the sky is the limit when it comes to dating apps. You can find apps for pet owners, apps for women seeking just friends, apps for people who want to date within a certain community, and so many more cool dating apps! When the time is right, be sure you are out of a current relationship, search for dating apps based on what you want. Bumble is a good one where women initiate the conversation. Tindog is good for those who love their dogs. Luxy is good for those who have much wealth and want to be paired with like minds and incomes. Don't be afraid to spend a little money on a dating service, because you really can't afford to date your "type" again. But once again, before you do that, seek online or offline counseling to find out what might be going on with you that you continue to attract good-for-nothing men or women. Oftentimes, relationship issues reveal somewhere in our lives we picked up on poor examples.
Good things are indeed happening for those who truly want to be free from abusive mates. Don't let this season of breakthrough pass you by again! Pray and start working out your plan today!
Nicholl McGuire
Imagine no longer worrying about where a mate is going and whether or not he or she is telling you the truth. Picture your money in your bank account slowly being spent your way rather than it rapidly being spent on things that have little to do with you and a lot to do with a miserable mate. Envision yourself driving your own vehicle on a full tank of gas, cleaning your dishware, doing your laundry, and not the least bit bothered by having just one more task to do for a deceptive partner.
It is a great feeling! You can enjoy your life your way! When you are ready to date again, the sky is the limit when it comes to dating apps. You can find apps for pet owners, apps for women seeking just friends, apps for people who want to date within a certain community, and so many more cool dating apps! When the time is right, be sure you are out of a current relationship, search for dating apps based on what you want. Bumble is a good one where women initiate the conversation. Tindog is good for those who love their dogs. Luxy is good for those who have much wealth and want to be paired with like minds and incomes. Don't be afraid to spend a little money on a dating service, because you really can't afford to date your "type" again. But once again, before you do that, seek online or offline counseling to find out what might be going on with you that you continue to attract good-for-nothing men or women. Oftentimes, relationship issues reveal somewhere in our lives we picked up on poor examples.
Good things are indeed happening for those who truly want to be free from abusive mates. Don't let this season of breakthrough pass you by again! Pray and start working out your plan today!
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
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