Based on a book with the same title written by Nicholl McGuire, this domestic and dating violence blog offers support to anyone who is laboring to love an emotionally or physically abusive partner. Feel free to explore numerous relationship and family issues. Please be advised to seek a professional for counsel on abuse. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling, domestic abuse, and teen dating violence. Please be advised this is a public blog.
Monday
Friday
Wednesday
Yes, God Hates Divorce...But He Hates Abuse More!
Scripture References for Further Study about Abuse (Note there are about 100 verses, this is just a sample).
Malachi 2:13-16 ESV (English Standard Version Bible)
And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Proverbs 10:11 ESV
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
Proverbs 10:6 ESV
Blessings are on the head of the righteous, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
Psalm 10:17-18 ESV
O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.
Psalm 72:14 ESV
From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.
Psalm 55:20-21 ESV
My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant. His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.
Sunday
Tuesday
Monday
Friday
Feelings of Resentment - I Started Wishing They Didn't Come Home
I wish I could say that my feelings were isolated to one of the men who hurt me physically, but after getting out of that violent relationship and starting afresh with others, I felt like I was walking on eggshells with them too. I started wishing that a couple more didn't come home either. The sexist behavior, selfish ways, and the superiority complex that came with these men gradually showed up as I learned more about them. It didn't matter that they were "so nice, didn't hit me..." but their words and disloyalty did. The pain at times was far worse than what the physically violent man had done to me many years before--the ache was in my spirit and didn't go away at all for one person I was in a long-term relationship. As for the other man, those negative feelings came and went and then returned again when the next offense showed up and the next.
What was going on with me was not only unresolved issues of the past, but a strong desire to make things work with incompatible partners. The revelations were there early on, but when in lust you don't see the writing on the wall. Also, when you have gone through so much, you only want to see the good in people sometimes. You grow weary of being disappointed over and over again.
I hated what was going on within and around me and I felt I had no control. Crazy-making relationships with people who have large egos, large pockets, large bodies, and large everything else can be intimidating, delightful, and strange all at the same time. We think that big is better in so many ways. We admire men who have big homes, stand tall and big (because we revel in feeling protected), big "you know whats" for obvious reasons, big bank accounts and whatever else that is big and beneficial. But when people and things fail, break down, don't look right, or even act right in relationships, those feelings of resentment begin to set in. We ask ourselves, "What did I get myself into?" And because one hurt us, then another and another, we run out of love, patience, and hope. We begin to wish ourselves to be anywhere but with the person who walks through the door.
Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Laboring to Love Myself, Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men, and She's Crazy.
What was going on with me was not only unresolved issues of the past, but a strong desire to make things work with incompatible partners. The revelations were there early on, but when in lust you don't see the writing on the wall. Also, when you have gone through so much, you only want to see the good in people sometimes. You grow weary of being disappointed over and over again.
I hated what was going on within and around me and I felt I had no control. Crazy-making relationships with people who have large egos, large pockets, large bodies, and large everything else can be intimidating, delightful, and strange all at the same time. We think that big is better in so many ways. We admire men who have big homes, stand tall and big (because we revel in feeling protected), big "you know whats" for obvious reasons, big bank accounts and whatever else that is big and beneficial. But when people and things fail, break down, don't look right, or even act right in relationships, those feelings of resentment begin to set in. We ask ourselves, "What did I get myself into?" And because one hurt us, then another and another, we run out of love, patience, and hope. We begin to wish ourselves to be anywhere but with the person who walks through the door.
Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Laboring to Love Myself, Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men, and She's Crazy.
Monday
Thursday
Wednesday
Tips Dating Older Men, Dating Younger Women: Bad Men You Should Avoid Like a Plague
Tips Dating Older Men, Dating Younger Women: Bad Men You Should Avoid Like a Plague: Women always say, “I didn’t know he was like that” when their boyfriends perform acts that cause everyone around them shame. In some cases...
Tuesday
October is Domestic Violence Awareness
Inspirational speaker, blogger of this site, and author Nicholl McGuire has many audios and videos about abuse on YouTube NM Enterprise 7. Since October is Domestic Violence Awareness, we are featuring some of the most popular material from the channel. Feel free to click on the one that best addresses your situation or a loved one. May God bless you with peace of mind, courage, and favor with those who can help you get free :)
Power and Control - Who is Your Foe - family, friends, coworkers
The Exit Plan - Getting out of Situation - Emotionally, Physically Stressed
When the Abuser Uses Victim's Family, Friends
Power and Control - Who is Your Foe - family, friends, coworkers
The Exit Plan - Getting out of Situation - Emotionally, Physically Stressed
When the Abuser Uses Victim's Family, Friends
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