Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Not every phone call to the police ends up turning out in the way the caller might think. Times have changed since the days our grandmothers and great grandmothers dealt with domestic violence, but there are still those in and out of law enforcement that have their personal bias views.  From the sexist father to the controlling mother-in-law, someone is telling a victim, "Just call the police..." when trouble arises.  But will the outcome really end up in the way that they think? A number of victims have reached out to law enforcement only to find themselves being abused again before being sent off to jail.  But why?  Consider this, emotions are running high with everyone involved.  Critics feel you should have left the toxic relationship a long time ago, but you stayed.  You might be the one speaking to the police one day unable to explain the details leading up to the abuse.  You may not remember what you or the abuser said or did due ...

Jehovah’s Witnesses ‘hid’ over 1,000 sex-abuse cases Jehovah’s Witness Sex Abuse Attorneys Fighting for Justice The Domestic Violence I Saw With Jehovah’s Witnesses

Say something to the public charmer that sounds critical and then it won't be long before his evil twin the private abuser shows up. The charmer's smile fades away as quick as it came; in its place now reveals an evil scowl. Say too much and things just might get physical. He is more cautious around males then females who know him well, because he doesn't want to have to go toe to toe with another man if he can help it. Mr. Abuser knows better to exercise a bit of self-control when he knows he could lose everything messing with the wrong person. Dr. Phil says, "There are no victims, only volunteers." Don't go along to get along. Peace at any price is no peace at all. On Dating or Marrying a Loser Do women recognize the kind of men they are with and do they listen closely to what their partners are saying and not saying especially during those first meetings? The evidence is there. From the way a man stands to the take charge attitude he has and...

If you think yelling, cursing, pushing, biting, kicking, and more that some couples do just because it's Valentine's Day will stop, think again!  This is an emotionally charged holiday for some that drives them to want to make past wrongs right through small or large tokens of appreciation depending on one's budget.  The less money, the more an abusive lover might be frustrated that he or she can't buy away guilty feelings.  For a victim of dating or domestic violence, no amount of money will quell the pain that eats away at some as a result of yet another barrage of insults, shaming, ignoring, lying, cheating, beating, etc.  The emotionally and physically broken partner might receive a sweet gift, have a nice dinner, attend a movie, and have sex with their abusive boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, or lover, but it is only a matter of time that the abuse will start back up again. When you know that abuse whether emotional or physical is prevalent in your relationsh...

Reference material to help those of you who need more insight about domestic or dating violence. USDOJ: Office on Violence Against Women: Crimes of Focus: Domestic Violence

Today, domestic violence is becoming a well-known problem, but few people realize that women in romantic relationships aren't the only victims. Domestic violence is defined as any violence that occurs in a household, whether between close family relationships or even among distant relatives who happen to be living under the same roof. The most widely publicized forms of domestic violence include that between the husband or father as abuser and girlfriends, wives, and children as victims, although it can actually occur between any family members. Domestic abuse may occur in a wide variety of situations. It may include not only physical abuse, but also sexual abuse, in which the abuser uses force to compel the victim to participate in a sexual act. This can occur even if the victim and the abuser are married or in a romantic relationship. Although identification of physical or sexual domestic abuse is not difficult to uncover by those closest to the victims, it is of...

A lot of the time when we think of domestic violence our attention is focused on just the two parties that are fighting, the abuser and the victim. We rarely think of the children in the home that are watching. Yet each year an estimated 3.3 million children witness domestic violence. Some of these children are caught in the crossfire and sustain physical injuries. Even those children who do not experience abuse themselves are left just as traumatized as those who suffer direct abuse. This is part of my own story about the effect of domestic violence on children. I learn early on to recognize the signs when the fight would escalate into violence. I knew that the safest place for me was to hide in a corner out of the way. I often covered by ears to try and block out the screams. It did not help for the screams still penetrated the gaps in my little fingers. I sat their in silence and hopelessness. I knew I could not do anything to stop it yet I felt guilty. Somehow I just knew the fight...

Married women on their way out of an abusive relationship are frequently found navigating the system en route to safety. But is their path safe? Not necessarily so. We frequently see women struggling in relation to their legal counsel just as they struggled in their battering relationship. And they feel worn down, confused, taken advantage of... What often happens is these women engage in their relationship with their legal representation just as they engaged in relation to the “white knight” from whom they are seeking refuge. They look to this person as their savior, leaping in with blind faith. When told exactly what they want to hear, they saddle up and go for the ride. Sadly for some, years go by, and hundreds of thousands of dollars later, they ask, WHY? Family Violence and Legal Domestic Abuse My sense is the dynamics are exactly the same. Domestic abuse is about control and so is the legal abuse syndrome. And the survivor in both of these situations engages and partic...