Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

For many people in abusive relationships, everyday life becomes a battlefield. It’s not just about bruises or harsh words—abuse infiltrates every aspect of a person’s well-being, including their ability to focus at work, engage with family, or even complete basic daily tasks. Survivors might struggle with concentration, frequently arrive late, or have difficulty communicating with colleagues. Some withdraw entirely, missing deadlines, neglecting responsibilities, or losing interest in social interactions.   These struggles aren’t about irresponsibility or a lack of effort. Abuse causes deep emotional and psychological wounds that make functioning normally incredibly difficult. Studies show that domestic violence survivors are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and PTSD, all of which can make tasks like staying organized, making decisions, or even remembering simple things feel overwhelming. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), between 2...

Domestic violence isn’t just physical abuse; it encompasses emotional, psychological, and financial harm. According to the World Health Organization, approximately 1 in 3 women worldwide has experienced physical or sexual violence. This is a staggering statistic that highlights how pervasive the issue is. Domestic violence can impact anyone, regardless of age, gender, or socioeconomic status. Children in these environments often carry the trauma into adulthood, perpetuating a cycle of abuse. This cycle isn’t just limited to intimate partners; it also affects families, friends, and communities. Raising awareness about these definitions helps break the stigma and encourages victims to seek help. Share this information with friends and family. The more we talk about domestic violence, the more we can support those who need help.

Natural disasters like wildfires and floods can create chaos and uncertainty, leading to heightened household stress levels. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), reports of domestic violence often increase in the aftermath of such events. The trauma of losing homes and livelihoods can push already strained relationships to the breaking point. For instance, after the devastating wildfires in California, many shelters reported a surge in calls from individuals seeking help. The stress of displacement can amplify existing issues, making it crucial for communities to recognize these patterns. Survivors often feel trapped during these times, with limited resources and support. Local shelters like the YWCA provide emergency housing and counseling to those affected. Supporting these organizations, especially during disaster relief efforts, can make a significant difference. As you witness your community recover from disasters, consider counseling if you...

Not every phone call to the police ends up turning out in the way the caller might think. Times have changed since the days our grandmothers and great grandmothers dealt with domestic violence, but there are still those in and out of law enforcement that have their personal bias views.  From the sexist father to the controlling mother-in-law, someone is telling a victim, "Just call the police..." when trouble arises.  But will the outcome really end up in the way that they think? A number of victims have reached out to law enforcement only to find themselves being abused again before being sent off to jail.  But why?  Consider this, emotions are running high with everyone involved.  Critics feel you should have left the toxic relationship a long time ago, but you stayed.  You might be the one speaking to the police one day unable to explain the details leading up to the abuse.  You may not remember what you or the abuser said or did due ...

Jehovah’s Witnesses ‘hid’ over 1,000 sex-abuse cases Jehovah’s Witness Sex Abuse Attorneys Fighting for Justice The Domestic Violence I Saw With Jehovah’s Witnesses

Say something to the public charmer that sounds critical and then it won't be long before his evil twin the private abuser shows up. The charmer's smile fades away as quick as it came; in its place now reveals an evil scowl. Say too much and things just might get physical. He is more cautious around males then females who know him well, because he doesn't want to have to go toe to toe with another man if he can help it. Mr. Abuser knows better to exercise a bit of self-control when he knows he could lose everything messing with the wrong person. Dr. Phil says, "There are no victims, only volunteers." Don't go along to get along. Peace at any price is no peace at all. On Dating or Marrying a Loser Do women recognize the kind of men they are with and do they listen closely to what their partners are saying and not saying especially during those first meetings? The evidence is there. From the way a man stands to the take charge attitude he has and...

If you think yelling, cursing, pushing, biting, kicking, and more that some couples do just because it's Valentine's Day will stop, think again!  This is an emotionally charged holiday for some that drives them to want to make past wrongs right through small or large tokens of appreciation depending on one's budget.  The less money, the more an abusive lover might be frustrated that he or she can't buy away guilty feelings.  For a victim of dating or domestic violence, no amount of money will quell the pain that eats away at some as a result of yet another barrage of insults, shaming, ignoring, lying, cheating, beating, etc.  The emotionally and physically broken partner might receive a sweet gift, have a nice dinner, attend a movie, and have sex with their abusive boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, or lover, but it is only a matter of time that the abuse will start back up again. When you know that abuse whether emotional or physical is prevalent in your relationsh...

Reference material to help those of you who need more insight about domestic or dating violence. USDOJ: Office on Violence Against Women: Crimes of Focus: Domestic Violence