Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

In a large living-room seated in front of a large screen are men, a few women and some children scattered about.  They are all watching the biggest game of the year.  In the kitchen, the drinks are pouring, the food is cooking, and the noise in each room is loud.  A woman with a head and backache makes her exit from the kitchen, she cries in a nearby bathroom.  The night before her husband kicked her and that morning he hit her in the head with a shoe.  He has been acting very tensed lately, the gambler has numerous bets on his team.  The men and women in the living-room are family and mutual friends, they don't have a clue about the victim's plight.  To them, she appears to be in a good relationship with that public sweet-talker, closet abuser. Most victims of emotional and physical abuse have learned how to play their roles when it comes to events like the Super Bowl.  This is another hol...

Childhood Triggers  was written based on true events.  This poem expresses the author's pain, shame, and other challenges as a result of growing up around a controlling relative.  History has a way of repeating itself if one's inner demons are never purged.

She heard the alarm clock.  There is no getting up out the bed quickly like other mornings before.  She slowly rolls over, the pain in her back, the soreness between legs, and the pressure in her head, the night before was rough. Why do I stay? The couple had been arguing, about what she didn't remember at least not at this moment.  Rubbing her back, she can only think of getting to the medicine cabinet to get some remedies for everything that is wrong with her: her back, her head, her vagina--everything hurts! "He's always angry," she thinks.  "Why do I feed into his nastiness!  Why do I always get hurt in the end?"  She looks at herself in the mirror, she didn't recall getting scratched.  "Where the hell did this come from?"  Markings on her neck as if she had been clawed by a woman with long fingernails.  She looks at her forehead.  Pulling back her bang, "What the f8ck!  Where did this knot come from?" As she sits on th...

"Let me finish...what was I saying...I forgot.  Are you going to let me talk?  You said that I could speak...why don't you let me finish!"  Frustrated beyond words, tears streaming down the young woman's face, she can't express her thoughts.  Her abuser has beaten her down mentally before she could make any more valid points.  Her words of truth stung him like a bee, the abusive man knew he was wrong in the way that he treated her, but he didn't want to hear it! "You're a crazy b&tch, you know that?  Why do I bother listening to you?  If only you could see what you look like right now!  Quit your crying, baby!  I don't know what I saw in you!  I worry about you... maybe you should see a doctor."  He takes no responsibility for driving her into an entangled web of confusion with his constant interruptions, name-calling, and more.  She keeps wanting to collect her thoughts, to explain some more, bu...

You may have started off the relationship as a good girl, but now you find yourself, at times, gone bad around a certain person.  As much as you would love to return to that good girl or guy you knew prior to meeting an abusive mate, you just can't at this time. An abusive mate is just not going to allow you to live a comfortable, free and happy lifestyle with him or her before this person is going to mess up things yet again!  Some abusive people will just not let anyone around them be happy or live peacefully.  So the old adage goes, Misery loves company, and negative people feel comfortable when they are in the presence of drama. A quiet lifestyle of routine that appears a bit boring is not the kind of atmosphere abusers want to be in. They don't enjoy laughing, singing, dancing, or being affectionate much.  They are often serious, withdrawn, cold, bitter, jealous, and resentful.  If you attempt to...