Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

What do you think is one of the reasons why some women avoid being abused while others walk right into it? We all have our share of baggage and for some of us when we don't want to face it, drop it off, or carry it, we pretend as if it doesn't exist. We walk blindly into situations all-trusting without a Father who is all-knowing.   We can be so gullible at times, loving people far too much, and a fool guided by our senses rather than our spirit.  No matter what people say, we cry out, "I never said...I never did...I never heard...I never saw...I would never...!" you may have forgotten the warning, "Never say never!"   Sometimes on and off day you do things that get you or someone else into trouble whether it is a piece of advice that goes wrong or feet that end up somewhere they shouldn't be. Read the following fictional example of a classic girl meets boy scenario started via the Internet.  "I remember the day I met him like it was yesterday. We w...

I was in a relationship with a charming man. I thought he was wonderful at first, but it didn't take long for the abuse to start. The first time he hit me, I was completely shocked. I couldn't believe that the man I loved could be capable of something like that. It wasn't long before the abuse became a regular occurrence. He would cheat on me and then use that as an excuse to hit me or scream at me. I was always unhappy and constantly experienced health related challenges. I didn't feel like being intimate with him, but he didn't care. He only wanted what he could get from me financially, sexually, and emotionally. He took advantage of my generosity and kindness. I eventually left him, but the experience has left me scarred for life. Does that sound familiar? However, the last part about “leaving” doesn’t apply to millions of people who are still in abusive relationships. As for the scars, they are like those that appear on the skin, some heal and others remain to b...

The conversations are becoming increasingly difficult to have with an abusive partner. It is clear that you want to end the relationship or maybe he or she wants to but someone isn’t letting go.  Do not take periodic gestures of kindness or a pleasant moment as signs an abuser or yourself  want to stay. Abuse is occurring in the relationship and the longer you stay, the more emotionally and physically damaging it will be to your mind, body and spirit. The following signs are evident that a partner no longer wants to be in a relationship. 1. Your partner no longer wants to spend time with you. If your partner starts making excuses not to spend time with you, it's a sign that they may be considering on breaking up with you. If they used to be all over you and now they can't even stand to be in the same room as you, it's a bad sign. 2. Your partner is suddenly very critical of you. If your partner suddenly starts nitpicking everything you do and pointing out all of your flaws,...

One of the most puzzling aspects of domestic violence is why victims stay with their abusers. There are many factors that can contribute to this decision, including emotional attachment , financial dependency , and fear of retaliation . Unfortunately, domestic violence often escalates over time, making it even more difficult for victims to leave. In some cases, victims may have been raised in a household where domestic violence was accepted as a normal part of life. As a result, they may not realize that there are other options available to them. In other cases, victims may be afraid that leaving the relationship will result in further violence. They may also believe that they can change their abuser's behavior if they just try hard enough.  Ask yourself the following questions: Have you (or your loved one) been emotionally or physically abused in the past?  How did you or others respond to the abuse?  Are you fearful of what might happen if you (or they leave)? Do you re...

They didn't want us to remind them of what we saw growing up.  They pretended as if things hadn't happened.  They changed the subject, acted busy, or walked away.  Some of them stopped talking to us and got other relatives to distance themselves from us.  The truth hurt and it still hurts for many!  We were there when their parents and grandparents did their dirt or we heard about it.  We were told to keep our mouths shut, to pretend as if nothing happened, and to "mind your business!" When I grew older, and I got opportunities to talk with family members and friends, who had witnessed and/or experienced their share of abuses, they didn't hesitate to come clean after certain people had passed away.  They knew they had been gaslighted and threatened into submission.  They reasoned it was best that people didn't know about their loved ones being hurt by favorite relatives.  However, I wasn't one for letting it all just wash away especially when...

You heard people journal in order to bring about peace of mind, healing, coordinate their vision, re-charge, find a way to cope in the meantime, and more!  Are you journaling?  If not, you may want to start, so many people feel uplifted, focused and ready to begin their lives anew when they journal!   Shepherd's Door, a resource center for victims of domestic violence, founder, Linda Offray says, "I have been journaling for 20 years."  She goes on, "I started journaling when I completed ministry school and began to work in ministry.  The Spirit of God begin to show me so much through visions and dreams.  So I began to write down what the spirit spoke to me.  It didn't matter what time of the day, I would just grab something and start writing.  I wanted to keep a record of what God was showing me as well as speaking to me."  She adds that she always knew what she was receiving was meaningful.  "So when my life manifested good or bad,...