Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

I felt moved to update this blog.  Inspired to share my thoughts about the abusive men and women who watch your social media pages, study you as you walk your neighborhood, work at your desk, or follow you in your car.  They are the friendly type, appearing to be harmless, but deep inside they are mean-spirited men and women with hearts that are as cold as ice.  When you least expect it, you will see their icy stare from afar.  They don't love people, they use and abuse them! Regret I guess I didn't see "it" coming, the pain.  Years of it.  Days of feeling like everything was okay when it really wasn't.  The mature me was angry with the naive me from long ago.  "How did you miss the signs?"  I asked myself one day.  The men I had got myself involved with in my lifetime had to sell me on even giving them the time of day.  Had I known my worth back then, they wouldn't have been given even a second look. Repercussions I have dedicated my life to

Rebel against your mother, the teacher, the coach, law enforcement or anyone else an abuser doesn't like and you are considered one of their favorite pawns to use and abuse!  They don't like it very much when children listen to their victims especially when what they are doing is interfering with their plans.  So the brainwashing begins to sway a child or young adult son or daughter to believe that everything is wrong with the other parent and not with them!  Some of the manipulation looks like the following: 1)  Speaking ill about the ex in front of the new partner. 2)  Saying that "If it wasn't for me...your mother this...your father that...I have been there for you!" 3)  Offering service while talking about how bad the other person is for not doing. 4)  Lying about the verbal and/or physical abuse that took place in the relationship. 5)  Love bombing the children so that they never know that the abuser was really the reason why the other parent ended the

Ever been frustrated when attempting to communicate your concerns to a partner?   He or she shrugs, fakes interest, or responds in a tone that brings out the worse in you.   Meanwhile, children couldn’t care less that the dispute was instigated by what they said or didn’t do.   No one heard the instruction, caution, or anger spewing out of your voice attempting to keep something from occurring days or even weeks prior.   The day goes on.   Mom is the crazy one and everyone else is sane. When your family doesn’t hear you, there are times where you have to be like an annoying fly until they do.   Of course, they will want to do what they can to make you go away, but persistent moms get the job done.   Whether they post reminders all over the house, call twice a day plus send texts checking in on their troubled children, or stand in the living room with a bullhorn to get everyone to stop fighting, Mom knows that some activities require undivided attention.   She may have to take child