Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Alabama: Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website Alaska: Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault -  website Arizona: Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence -  website Arkansas: Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website California: California Partnership to End Domestic Violence -  website Colorado: Violence Free Colorado -  website Connecticut: Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website Delaware: Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website Florida: Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website Georgia: Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website Hawaii: Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website Idaho: Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence -  website Illinois: Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website Indiana: Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence -  website I...

In today's society, it is crucial to address the impact of untreated trauma on children. Exposure to abusive behaviors and unresolved traumas can have profound effects on a child's development and well-being. In this blog post, we will delve into the various themes discussed in a recent podcast episode, highlighting the importance of providing a safe and stable environment for children. Through verbatim quotes from the Stillness Gifts podcast hosted by the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate , Nicholl McGuire, we will explore the potential consequences of untreated trauma and the steps that can be taken to mitigate its impact. Exposure to Behavior "Untreated victims of abuse will do something that will surprise you."  The first theme we encounter is the unpredictable behavior exhibited by untreated victims of abuse. Nicholl recounts a distressing incident involving a priest who, overwhelmed by a crying baby, resorts to hitting the child instead of offering a bl...

Spiritual abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse where religion or spirituality is used as a tool to control or manipulate another person. It may involve using religious teachings to justify harmful behaviors, exerting power over a person's spiritual choices, or creating fear and guilt around spiritual beliefs. While this type of abuse can occur in a variety of contexts, it is especially harmful in relationships where the victim may feel isolated and unsupported. Recognizing spiritual abuse is the first step towards healing and recovery.  The spiritual abuse that can occur in a relationship can be subtle and insidious, making it difficult to recognize. However, if you are able to identify some of the signs after realizing that your relationship has become toxic, then there is still hope for breaking free. Here are two examples of people who experienced spiritual abuse in their relationships and how they managed to break free. Example 1: Sarah Sarah had been in a rela...

Abuse is never something anyone ever deserves to experience, but unfortunately, it's something that can happen to anyone. And when it does happen, it can be even worse when the people who are supposed to have your back, family, are the ones being gaslighting or dismissive about it. It can be challenging for survivors of abuse to confront such relatives, especially if they’ve done it before or if they feel vulnerable. Abusers and their enablers often minimize past incidences of abuse by pretending it never happened, blaming the victim for it, or making excuses for the abuser's behavior. This attitude only exacerbates the trauma, and it's crucial for survivors to take control of their lives by seeking some closure. In this blog post, we’ll outline some tips on what to say to dismissive and gaslighting relatives and how to let go of toxic family members after ending an abusive relationship. Speak your truth When dealing with dismissive or gaslighting relatives, speak yo...

  It can be difficult to recognize when a partner is trying to control your beliefs. They may not even realize that they are doing it, and it can be difficult for you to draw boundaries. Here are some signs that may indicate that your partner is being controlling about your beliefs:   1. Your Partner Tries to Pressure You into Agreeing with Them - This could involve using threats or ultimatums to try and get you to believe the same things as them without giving you space to form your own opinions on the subject.   2. They Constantly Criticize Your Beliefs - Even if they do not explicitly tell you what to believe, they often criticize any beliefs that do not align with their own. This is a way to try and make you feel bad or wrong for having different beliefs than them.   3. They Make Decisions for You - Your partner may want to make decisions about religion, politics, or other important topics for both of you to control your beliefs.     4. They Try to ...

No one ever expects to marry an abuser, yet unfortunately, it happens more often than we'd like to admit. Emotional and physical abuse - whether it be part of a single incident or an on-going pattern - can take a devastating toll on the victim's sense of self, sense of safety and overall wellbeing. That is why it is so important for individuals in such an unhealthy and destructive relationship to recognize the signs and get out sooner rather than later. In this blog post, I will discuss some tell-tale signs that can indicate a person has married an emotionally and physically abusive partner as well as why time is of the essence when deciding to leave such a miserable relationship. 1. Your partner constantly blames you for their unhappiness and belittles your accomplishments and ideas.  2. Your spouse is incredibly controlling, demanding to know where you are at all times, who you are with, and what you are doing. 3. They become very jealous if you show any interest in someone e...