Tuesday

He Keeps Lying, You Keep Believing Him

What are your boundaries when it comes to relating to your partner?  What will you believe and what won't you?  Questions like this and others are what I ask to those women (and men)  who keep accepting a story from a partner that just doesn't make any sense.  You may be the one in the group who keeps experiencing head and/or stomach upset, because a partner repeatedly tells you one thing and does another.  Then when this partner is confronted with yet another lie, he or she tries to convince you that "you are mistaken" or "don't know what you are talking about."

Can I just say that this kind of relationship is mentally draining and will one day lead to someone physically abusing someone.  No one on the face of this earth who has even a little bit of dignity is going to keep on listening to a liar.  He or she will find a way to either distance his or herself from the liar or worse clobber him or her with their fists.

The frustration, tears, anger and yelling begin to take their toll.  "How many times will you keep lying to me?  What do you take me for? A fool?  You are such a liar!  Why do I keep believing you?"  Liars work hard to try to keep their stories in line, but there will be times when they will slip up.  I recall a time when my gut feeling told me that a former partner of mine was not where he claimed he was supposed to be the whole time, but went elsewhere.  When I confronted him about this, he stammered somewhat, then looked away from me, and calmly claimed he was where he had told me the whole time.  I couldn't prove anything and he knew I couldn't, so I didn't press him anymore about what my gut had been telling me about him.  I never believed anything he said from that point on, I had a liar on my hands and at one time I told him so.  To that, he said, "Well, how can we have a relationship if you don't trust me?"  He was right.  Gradually, I distanced myself from him emotionally and later physically.

Liars say they love you when they don't.  They say they will marry you then they don't.  They say they will be leaving from a job at a particular time knowing that they will be leaving earlier or later depending on their plans.  Liars will say they were at one place, but you find out later they went to two or three other places.  They always have an excuse, reason,  talk too much, or talk too little.

While the liar keeps lying to his wife and/or girlfriend, she keeps making herself believe him.  Her desire for happiness is much greater than the truth.  Her need for a man is much greater than the truth.  Her pride is bigger than the truth.  All she wants is whatever she has set in her mind to want from the man and although she says she wants honesty, she doesn't act like it.  This is why you can't tell your friend whose man is cheating on her the truth, she most likely won't believe you anyway especially if her man is a master liar.

Stay in a relationship with a liar long enough and your anger might take hold of you one day.   Before you know it, you may end up doing something you will later regret.  Make up in your mind today that you will either confront your mate with the truth demand that he keep his word and if not, you walk away no exceptions!  But whatever you decide to do, don't be anyone's fool!

Nicholl McGuire

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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