Dating Violence While In College

When young women and men plan to go to college, they don't think much about intimate relationships.  They are too busy planning for the future, studying, and attending college events.  However, it happens, men and women meet each other, have sex, and then not long after find out they are involved with a control freak boyfriend or a crazy girlfriend with a violent past.  Mom and dad fought, sibilings squabbled, and the lack of money and resources brought their share of challenges to thoe household.  Then off these troubled people, with bad childhood memories, go off to college only to find out that life doesn't get any better when one's eyes aren't completely focused on those textbooks.

Men will be men and boys will be boys, so the old adage goes, but this doesn't excuse verbal and physical abuse.  Women have the tendency to talk tough and act rough too and when this happens, their behavior isn't excused either.  The stress of college exams, financial issues and more can make Happy Helen and Nice Nick angrier and angrier.  It won't be long that true colors won't come shining through!

Sometimes one can see evidence of a person's true temperment when he or she pledges for a sorority or fraternity.  Other times when they are under pressure due to leading an organization or helping with coordinating an event.  The pressure to be successful in college can be great especially when one has to keep a GPA up to keep a scholarship.  So with so much on one's plate, it isn't any wonder why he or she would bother with a demanding relationship, but some do for fear of loneliness, judgment, or worry that a partner may not help them.  The student might put up with much from someone who often threatens to hurt them or take something away from them.

You will know when someone in your group is being verbally or physically abused because they will start talking negatively about a guy or gal they are dating or become very distant.  They will often talk about "needing to call my girlfriend back...because if I don't she might go off..." or "I better hurry up with this meeting/project, because I need to spend time with my boyfriend...he tends to get very mad when I don't..." Statements like this and others are red flags that someone is in a relationship with a troubled person.

When one chooses to play Savior to a friend, he or she runs the risk of being a bad guy or gal because they are exposing a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend.  A friendship might end as a result.  However, that is just a chance some will have to take if it means saving someone who might possibly die at the hands of someone who is violent.

Watch for signs someone is being verbally and/or physically abused:

1.  Scars or bruises around face, hands and necks.

2.  Stories of public disputes that include threatening behavior.

3.  Negative or shocking comments made about appearance, whereabouts, friendships, family, etc.

4.  Being ignored when he or she doesn't do what a partner wants.

5.  Shaming the individual for his or her selections, personal opinions, etc.

6.  Often treating the person in ways that are uncaring, not affectionate, and rude.

Nicholl McGuire has enlightening, spiritual videos at channel: nmenterprise7 on YouTube.

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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