Wednesday

What is Your Family History?

A long line of abuse, mayhem, violence, and more in one's family history will contribute to challenging future decision-making if a child is not taught how to love.  Then when the child becomes an adult, he or she will find it difficult to break generational curses without the need of spiritual influence or something else that may or may not be good for one's soul.

I thought of my personal family history and was sick to my stomach when I heard all the evil stories.  Women were treated like nothing more than cattle in my family.  They were pushed around, told where to go, and given tokens of attention, affection and material wealth if they earned it.  Be a good wife, you get rewarded.  Be a good woman, you might get to have the privilege of sleeping with a handsome man a second, or third time.  Who knows he might even stay and be a father to your future offspring--that is until the next young woman comes along?  Be dependant on a man and you just might get to ride in his car, but don't ask to drive it.  Look pretty, healthy, and youthful and you might get to keep your man a little longer.  Be quiet and don't anger your man and he just might do something nice for you.  "What the..." I thought.  In so many words, I had been programmed to be abused back in 1996.  I will never forget someone (I will leave unnamed) asking me after I had fought with my abuser for the last time and the police arrested him, "What did I do?"  Back in his day, women were supposed to be kept in line and the police would not take a man out of his home even if he had abused his wife.  She had to have done something that caused that man to beat her.  That is the way it was, and that is the way it still is in some secret circles, church groups, and elsewhere to date.   

When we reflect on those who came before us and learn of what they did and didn't do to achieve love, build their families, or tear them down, we are to learn from their mistakes not perpetuate cycles of abuse.  But for some, they don't get pass their ignorance.  As one relative put it, "My father was like that, so I was like that and so that is just the way it is."  I beg to differ.  If we can all watch television, read books, listen to music, travel, and do any other thing to help us obtain money and other stuff for our survival, then I'm sure we can use these same tools to help us become better parents, mentors, friends, and more. 

Family history is just that history!  It was someone's story from the past that either helped or hurt a future generation.  It is up to us to do some things differently, if not for ourselves, for those who love, respect, and appreciate us!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and Laboring to Love Myself.

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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