Decades of Being Mean - A person like this rarely changes

Another question for a heavenly Creator, "Why, oh God, couldn't you have made this person I am with different!?  Why couldn't my partner just be a better friend and lover to me?"


We will never know why some people can clearly see that a relationship is headed for a dead end, freedom is almost over, children are at risk of being taken away, a divorce is on the horizon, and yet they continue to behave in uncaring, mean and downright ugly ways!


People, who are often mean to loved ones and others, rarely change.  Sometimes you hope  something might happen that will make them see the light, but to no avail.  When the writing is on the wall, you might as well read it, "There is no changing him/her, so stop trying."


Some will persuade a mean partner to attend church with him or her, others will encourage the individual to do something fun, still others might plan vacations, buy gifts, or give the partner whatever he or she wants.  Yet, no matter what some do, there will always be problems when dealing with difficult people, and no amount of money, sex, honor, love, etc. is going to make a difference!


So how does one break routine of working so hard to help that miserable man or woman in one's life?  You fire yourself from the job!  You stop making yourself tend to someone else who doesn't believe that anything is wrong, refuses to change, talks badly about you, and more.  Gradually, you back off.  If you attend a church service or some other weekly function, you unlearn past behavior of asking he or she to go with you, and you continue to go alone.  You stop managing a mate's life and you focus on yours.  Ask yourself, "What would make me happy?"  Notice you don't include the partner in that statement.  "How might I function without him or her?"  This question will raise all sorts of interesting thoughts, and who knows you just might start smiling, rather than crying. 


Picture yourself happy right now while being unconcerned about who, what, where, when, why, and how anymore as it relates to a mean man or woman in your life.  Now take a deep sigh.  You can make that peaceful life you desire a reality.


Happy New Year!


Nicholl McGuire

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Do You Have Helpful Information and Products for Domestic Violence Victims and Survivors?

Image
 Are you a professional or expert with great information or a service to help those who are victims of domestic violence or survivors looking to get their lives back on track?  If so, we can advertise your product or service on this blog.   Rates for blog posts and ads are reasonable.  This blog is maintained by the generosity of individuals and businesses. Feel free to reach out via the contact form located on the sidebar.  Together, we can help those who stop by this blog in need of assistance!  
Read more

Dealing with Dismissive and Gaslighting Relatives after Abuse

Abuse is never something anyone ever deserves to experience, but unfortunately, it's something that can happen to anyone. And when it does happen, it can be even worse when the people who are supposed to have your back, family, are the ones being gaslighting or dismissive about it. It can be challenging for survivors of abuse to confront such relatives, especially if they’ve done it before or if they feel vulnerable. Abusers and their enablers often minimize past incidences of abuse by pretending it never happened, blaming the victim for it, or making excuses for the abuser's behavior. This attitude only exacerbates the trauma, and it's crucial for survivors to take control of their lives by seeking some closure. In this blog post, we’ll outline some tips on what to say to dismissive and gaslighting relatives and how to let go of toxic family members after ending an abusive relationship. Speak your truth When dealing with dismissive or gaslighting relatives, speak yo
Read more

Is Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Conceited, Arrogant, Turn People Off?

Why You Should Avoid Marriage Some people in this world are simply in love with themselves to the point that they are almost obsessed with their beauty, intelligence, material wealth, and the praise they receive from others. Psychologists have a word for people who are overly conceited, self-absorbed, and believe they are better than others. They describe their attitudes and behaviors as narcissistic. We all possess some of the character traits of a narcissist from time-to-time, but that doesn’t mean we are one. There are those people who have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and expect excessive admiration for what they feel are their exceptional talents, achievements, and other things they do for themselves and others. They are usually very handsome, beautiful people in the public, but at home, behind closed doors, they are far from it. If they feel they are being underappreciated, you will see the haughty, arrogant, jealous side come out. They expect those
Read more