Another question for a heavenly Creator, "Why, oh God, couldn't you have made this person I am with different!? Why couldn't my partner just be a better friend and lover to me?"
We will never know why some people can clearly see that a relationship is headed for a dead end, freedom is almost over, children are at risk of being taken away, a divorce is on the horizon, and yet they continue to behave in uncaring, mean and downright ugly ways!
People, who are often mean to loved ones and others, rarely change. Sometimes you hope something might happen that will make them see the light, but to no avail. When the writing is on the wall, you might as well read it, "There is no changing him/her, so stop trying."
Some will persuade a mean partner to attend church with him or her, others will encourage the individual to do something fun, still others might plan vacations, buy gifts, or give the partner whatever he or she wants. Yet, no matter what some do, there will always be problems when dealing with difficult people, and no amount of money, sex, honor, love, etc. is going to make a difference!
So how does one break routine of working so hard to help that miserable man or woman in one's life? You fire yourself from the job! You stop making yourself tend to someone else who doesn't believe that anything is wrong, refuses to change, talks badly about you, and more. Gradually, you back off. If you attend a church service or some other weekly function, you unlearn past behavior of asking he or she to go with you, and you continue to go alone. You stop managing a mate's life and you focus on yours. Ask yourself, "What would make me happy?" Notice you don't include the partner in that statement. "How might I function without him or her?" This question will raise all sorts of interesting thoughts, and who knows you just might start smiling, rather than crying.
Picture yourself happy right now while being unconcerned about who, what, where, when, why, and how anymore as it relates to a mean man or woman in your life. Now take a deep sigh. You can make that peaceful life you desire a reality.
Happy New Year!
Nicholl McGuire
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