Tuesday

Ugly Relationships, Abused Women

It is quite foolish for a hot-tempered man, who has repeatedly abused a woman with words and/or fists, to keep thinking that his wife/girlfriend still loves, likes, cares for him, etc. in the way that she once did when they first met.  Many of these victims look and feel unhappy.  They might have a support network, good jobs, and dress well, but when certain triggers arise within, the kind that will make the whole room go silent, the abusive man might want to think twice about closing his eyes at night.

Some abusers don't realize that iron wears out that their girlfriends, lovers and wives are going to eventually do and say some things that will make these angry men worried, nervous and possibly scared.  When a man periodically hits a woman, often ignores her, or frequently says mean things to get under her skin, it would make sense for not only the victim to leave the relationship, but he too should plan an exit strategy sooner rather than later and before the police do the planning for him.  Most difficult men know they have no plans on changing.  Chances are, things between these men and their partners will get worse before they get better.  The cycle of pain will intensify in time as life stressors (pregnancy, taxes, bills, etc.) increase and health (menopause, andropause, obesity etc.) starts to fail.  So why spend one's precious years in a miserable relationship eating food to death or starving?

As I write, I think of some abusive men that took their women for granted and never thought in a million years their emotionally and/or physically abused lovers/wives would call the police on them and press charges.  I think of others who underestimated the strength of their women and now wear permanent scars as a result.  Then there are those couples that come to mind that still hang on to one another, but secretly hate being together and will use all sorts of passive aggressive techniques to express how they truly feel.  The petty fights, threats, and other things they do will eventually kill one another prematurely.  You just can't continue to be with someone for years that brings you down and keep good health.  Many people have died with broken hearts and more because they just couldn't take anymore stress coming from partners.

Looking on the beautiful side, when it comes to ugly relationships one can imagine a life of peace, happiness, and a wonderful future and begin to work on making dreams a reality.  He or she can start on a path of forgiving one's self for past mistakes, for choosing someone that God didn't intend and for neglecting one's self mentally and/or physically.  This individual can start fresh and learn to love self first before anyone else. 

Nicholl McGuire author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry. 

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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