Friday

Controlling People Don't Think They Smell, Unattractive or Believe They Dominate Others

Spend enough time with someone who enjoys telling others what to do and how to do it, and you will soon find that the individual isn't likable.  Teach the demanding a lesson or two, and of course he or she won't like it when you treat him or her the same way.  "Do this...do that...Put that there...You don't do it this way...Stop doing that...What do you think you're doing?"  Controlling partners don't ask, they command and when you don't properly do things, they grow increasingly frustrated with you and in some cases hysterical.

I thought of this when I smelled bad odors emanating from more than a few self-absorbed people in my lifetime who enjoyed ridiculing others.  What nerve they had picking on the unsuspecting when they weren't the least bit attractive since getting older, weren't physically fit, and thought they were overall "good" or "nice" people.  Call domineering people out on their judgmental ways and they are quick to defend their selves, and if they are the violent type, they will act threatening, curse, shove, kick, or slap you.

Although a smelly, unattractive, controlling individual might act quite caring of others in public, oftentimes, these miserable men and women are not that way behind closed doors.  They abuse mentally, physically, financially, sexually, and/or spiritually.  They are so focused on appeasing their five senses (using others) that they don't believe they are at fault about anything.  These deeply angry people are frequently inconsistent in what they teach and preach.  When they are caught not following their own rules, they look for revenge on the one that exposed them.  It is oftentimes, "She made me do it...If she would have just shut her mouth...If he hadn't got involved I wouldn't have...He didn't have to tell me anything, but since he did...I went there."  They have excuses for just about anything wrong they say, think or do.

So if you thought that it was strange that the controlling person in your circle acted as if he or she was the "best," "greatest," "cleanest," "most nicest" in front f every one else, meanwhile you know differently, blame it on their troubled minds.  They are not together emotionally, physically or spiritually.  There is a good chance they were abused in their youth and rather than re-learn how to respectfully communicate and love others, they prefer to spread their dysfunction.

Children living with them catch a lot from the self-righteous, controlling "I can do no wrong" type.  They are belittled, punished unfairly and isolated.  When adults are in a honeymoon period, they will act okay for a time, but when angry with one another again, they take their mood swings out on sons and daughters.  Rather than address issues, they use children like scapegoats.  Now the children are picked on for being smelly, unattractive, etc.

Stay in the presence of someone like this long enough and you will soon find yourself slacking when it comes to taking care of yourself too!  Create a plan that will eliminate some of this stress with controlling people like this.  You can separate yourself from the one causing you the most grief, limit your conversation with him/her, attend counseling sessions together or apart, sit down and discuss each matter with a partner as it arises, and control one's temper when it comes to children especially when you know what the root causes are concerning your mood i.e.) PMS, stressful job, male midlife crisis, death of a loved one, ex-partner issues, disorganized home, hunger, lack of sleep, little spending money, too many bills, etc.

Try to stay up today!  God bless.

Nicholl McGuire

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