Saturday

Tolerating Abuse, The Hope Things will Get Better and the Other Women

Charmed into partnering with someone who claims he would treat you well, look after you, and more, but in time you realize that you aren't getting nearly half of what you are putting into the relationship.  You find yourself in love with the hope that things will get better and they do in short periods and then you are back to arguing, settling, crying, and wishing things would be different.

Some of you know you should have left the relationship as soon as it began, but you took a deep sigh and plowed right on into anyway.  You made yourself believe your partner was The One.  You told everyone just how great he is and now you are expected to live out your fantasy with him, because you worry over what people might say.  But you don't have to.  You can admit to God, country and family, "I messed up."  Chances are those people around you already found your guy out and know full well he just isn't a match for you.  However, pride for many of you won't let you do it and neither will the hope you have within.  There are many women who are broke, busted and disgusted hoping for something in their broken relationships that will never be.

The secret that many victims of manipulative men don't want to discuss is those other women.  One of the reasons they continue to put up with all kinds of abuse is because they are more concerned about their men going out and finding someone to replace them.  So rather than focus on freedom, these troubled women worry over their mates seeing someone else.  Why not use the possible distractions of other women to get out?  But the jealousy, insecurity, and anger one feels will keep her hurting and staying, hurting and staying.  I personally escaped when I knew an ex had other women he was interested in, because this meant he wouldn't be so focused on me after the break up and in time he wasn't.  I promoted his freedom like a person marketing a business, "You are free to do what you want...enjoy your life!  I wish you the best, don't worry about me."

There are patterns when it comes to loving someone who just isn't right for you and it starts with deception, the false belief that someone is great when he or she really isn't.  Then you forgive and claim to forget when they hurt you.  Life goes on without incident until the next time and the next.  The individual makes you feel like love will conquer all, only for you to realize you are being manipulated again and again.  "I love you...I will not ever do that again.  You can count me.  I really want this to work.  You are the best woman I have ever had," the charmer says. 

For you Christians, tolerating abuse is a sin.  You are bought with a price, a child of God!  Allowing someone to damage your spiritual being with lies, cheating, emotional abuse, and more has no scriptural basis.  Satan is a liar and oftentimes he uses his children of darkness to fake interest in the people and things of God only to get their material desires met i.e.) business opportunities, money, cars, homes, jewelry, etc. Some children of darkness will even go so far as to want babies that are just as evil as them.  Remember, Jesus paid the price for sin already, so why put yourself in a position to be a martyr?

Stay true to yourself and fix what you should have a long time ago.  Say no to abuse, false hope and forget about the other women. 

Nicholl McGuire  

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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