Sunday

Don't Share Personal Dreams Anymore with Controlling Partners

Do you really want to spend a beautiful time in a wonderful city you always wanted to go with your controlling partner?  Would you feel comfortable sharing your deepest secrets, your passions, your goals, and more with someone who has a history of turning everything positive you say into something negative?

Watch your mouth those of you who have suffered much so far with these abusive types.  You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt.  Just imagine going to that jaw-dropping country-side with your angry partner only to be arguing about the price of something and possibly being physically hurt in that location.  Those images that were once so sweet and innocent in your mind are no more when you start thinking of that location. 

Years ago, I recalled a place where my abuser had yelled and called me many names.  It wasn't a special spot or some magical place I had dreamt of.  Yet, once I got out of that emotionally draining relationship, every time I passed that spot (for a long time), I thought about how he almost killed me there.

So this is a warning to those of you who feel like during your honeymoon period when you aren't arguing, there isn't much going on, and things seem to be well between you both, just remember, keep the desires of your heart to yourself!  Guard them.  It doesn't matter what the controlling individual's title is or how much he or she has done for you, know that when you reveal everything to him or her, it is only a matter of time that your mouth will get you into trouble.

Personal dreams, personal relationship with Christ, personal belongings, personal conversations, etc. are just that personal!  Controlling people will use marriage vows, material wealth and other things to get their victims to reveal what their next moves are--don't tell them, in-laws or mutual friends (no matter how nice)!  They will manage to take what you have said and benefit in some way. 

You have enough issues laboring to love an abusive mate, so rather than spend your hard-earned money on the troubled individual or on a temporary feel-good vacation spot for you two, save it for future battles like: a divorce, a job loss, a house or car payment, debt, your children's medical expenses, an exit plan, or something else important.

Don't let controlling people get the upper-hand on personal goals!  They have a way of making what you want to do their idea, their plan, or talk you out of doing what you sincerely want to do.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Say Goodbye to Dad and other books.

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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