Your controlling, insecure, or violent date/partner made some people before you angry, used and abused them too. They already knew some bad things about the man or woman you claim to love and for some they might have admitted to being victims of abuse, but you most likely wouldn't know nor would you care. Abusers make sure no one ever gets close enough to their victims for them to discover the real truth. There are the stories they tell and then there are those the exes know about. These controlling men and women work quickly winning the new partners' trust, badmouthing exes, and hoping they never do any snooping or talking to former mates.
We all have exes for reasons. They have their explanations and we have ours. When one chooses to move on with his or her life, there is the verbalized or unspoken agreement between that person and the ex which is not to tell everyone everything that happened when we were together, okay? Now your current partner most likely doesn't have any one from the past sending smoke signals or warnings like, "Leave him alone...You have trouble on your hands..." But if he is a walking demon and someone or a group of people who used to be involved with him or her are trying to help you, believe them.
I came across an article not that long ago that shook me. An actor that I absolutely admired and respected had been in trouble many times for assaulting women. I didn't know this. So I was grateful that I didn't mention him in any of my work, attend any event honoring him, or promote him in anyway, I would have been showing support for a known woman beater. The exes had been speaking for years about him in certain circles, alerting any potential partners that he was no good, and yet new victims (and others) didn't believe he was a bad guy until they were behind closed doors with him while the public thought he was something special.
Sometimes men and women mistakenly think when they get involved with bad guys and girls that there is just no way they will be disrespected, abused or used. But those of us who have been there and done that, know better. From people with superiority complexes and much wealth to the needy ladies and gentlemen living alone, no one is off limits when it comes to being hurt by another human being.
A long trail of exes in an abuser's life serve as a reminder, "The one you are with has issues. You aren't the first and you won't be the last on his/her string of victims." So we might as well take heed.
Nicholl McGuire
We all have exes for reasons. They have their explanations and we have ours. When one chooses to move on with his or her life, there is the verbalized or unspoken agreement between that person and the ex which is not to tell everyone everything that happened when we were together, okay? Now your current partner most likely doesn't have any one from the past sending smoke signals or warnings like, "Leave him alone...You have trouble on your hands..." But if he is a walking demon and someone or a group of people who used to be involved with him or her are trying to help you, believe them.
I came across an article not that long ago that shook me. An actor that I absolutely admired and respected had been in trouble many times for assaulting women. I didn't know this. So I was grateful that I didn't mention him in any of my work, attend any event honoring him, or promote him in anyway, I would have been showing support for a known woman beater. The exes had been speaking for years about him in certain circles, alerting any potential partners that he was no good, and yet new victims (and others) didn't believe he was a bad guy until they were behind closed doors with him while the public thought he was something special.
Sometimes men and women mistakenly think when they get involved with bad guys and girls that there is just no way they will be disrespected, abused or used. But those of us who have been there and done that, know better. From people with superiority complexes and much wealth to the needy ladies and gentlemen living alone, no one is off limits when it comes to being hurt by another human being.
A long trail of exes in an abuser's life serve as a reminder, "The one you are with has issues. You aren't the first and you won't be the last on his/her string of victims." So we might as well take heed.
Nicholl McGuire
No comments:
Post a Comment