Wednesday

Spiritual Problems When One Labors to Love Someone Who Doesn't Love Back

So you thought a person in an abusive relationship already had enough issues from verbal insults to fighting with a partner, yet they have spiritual issues too?  Yes, many of them.  Salvation is doubted at times for some.  Rebellion is a common foe.  The Holy Ghost living within a believer is often grieved.  Church brothers and sisters might create distance for any number of reasons including being victims of the victims.  Satanic views or worldly thoughts become enticing.  Temptation to do something to an abuser that might put one in jail is a constant fight.  Immorality, compromising one's faith...the list goes on.

Whether you or someone you know is struggling in a relationship that keeps him or her stressed, know that the victim is also going through a test of faith that will either grow stronger as a result or cause one to want to forget about God.

The more drama one puts up with from a person who loves power and control over another human being, the more likely he or she is going to have issues with the Creator, his messengers, church attendees, spiritual relics, the Bible, prophetic dreams, Christian music being played, and more.  Gradually, the one being abused closes off God especially messages that are about freeing one from an emotionally and physically abusive relationship.  "I am fine!  Don't talk to me about that, I know God like you do!  Leave me alone!  My relationship is good!  Don't judge me," a victim yells.

Just like one's abuser, the hurting victim starts to become increasingly critical of positive messages being preached or taught.  He or she refuses warnings about the bad partnership and starts fights with people who really have nothing to do with his or her relationship struggles.  Victims find themselves arguing more often with others, defending their abusers, disciplining children harshly, and doing other things that compromise their faith.  It isn't any wonder that Christian counseling fails, communication at home is often ineffective, and children wish to be anywhere but at home.

Although some abused men and women think they are still the same sweet, nice people they were when they first met abusers, the truth is they too have changed.  Victims are often in fight or flight mode due to their angry partners and the fear of not knowing what they are going to do next.  They learn to grow cold, distant, and mean as a result of far too many arguments with their abusive mates.  They rarely sit comfortably in troubling relationships.  Thoughts are often negative.  Laughing and smiling is insincere at times.  There is always something to do in their minds to keep them from thinking about their miserable relationships.  Rarely do victims get quality rest without the aid of something to help them.  These wounded individuals don't always eat satisfying meals without stomach trouble, and they complain much about headaches and other pain.

When one is battling with health ailments while being with an argumentative lover, he or she typically doesn't think deeply about God and doesn't fully understand or apply holy Scriptures to his or her life like they once did.  The information isn't retained and the peaceful feelings are usually temporal.  Church attendance becomes a chore and relating to God outside of the church is not routine.  Where God used to sit on the throne of a victim's life, one's partner has taken that seat.

However, God with love and mercy, continues to send His messengers to break through the ugliness many victims carry to share truth, warn and encourage.  He still give these battered men and women dreams, signs, and wonders even if they fail to see them.  He comforts them in their storms and leaves it up to the saved and unsaved to seek Him.  He never forces anyone to have a relationship with Him.

When a victim knows that his or her partner doesn't know how to love, meet his or her needs, or doesn't do anything to change, the frustration mounts, the pain within the body intensifies, and the mind obsesses on wanting to escape even when the rest of the body refuses to move.  This is a dangerous place to be in because some people have had their share of meltdowns as a result.  For every time the brain shuts down and restarts it is never quite the same.

Seek God, trust in Him and He will direct your path.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on a number of issues here: YouTube channel nmenterprise7.

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