Saturday

Valentine's Day Domestic Violence, Dating Violence

If you think yelling, cursing, pushing, biting, kicking, and more that some couples do just because it's Valentine's Day will stop, think again!  This is an emotionally charged holiday for some that drives them to want to make past wrongs right through small or large tokens of appreciation depending on one's budget.  The less money, the more an abusive lover might be frustrated that he or she can't buy away guilty feelings.  For a victim of dating or domestic violence, no amount of money will quell the pain that eats away at some as a result of yet another barrage of insults, shaming, ignoring, lying, cheating, beating, etc.  The emotionally and physically broken partner might receive a sweet gift, have a nice dinner, attend a movie, and have sex with their abusive boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, or lover, but it is only a matter of time that the abuse will start back up again.

When you know that abuse whether emotional or physical is prevalent in your relationship, don't fight what you know to be true.  Don't keep telling yourself the ever-popular lie that an abuser keeps telling you, "Things will get better, I won't do it again.  I'm changing, growing up...I'm sorry."  He or she is perfectly capable of self-awareness alone without you being his or her verbal or physical punching bag.  A sparring partner is not what you are, you were meant to be loved and treated with respect in a healthy, functional relationship.

Yet, the one who labors to love his or her abusive mate will foolishly get sucked into a moment of appreciation and will continue to be there for the angry, moody man or woman while talking his or herself out of breaking up.  And so the cycle continues.  Today we love, tomorrow we argue, we talk about breaking up, we make up, we fight again, and so around and around we go.  It isn't until one or both in the relationship stop going around in circles that the abuse will come to an end.  Let me repeat that, it isn't until one or both in the relationship stop going around in circles that the abuse will come to an end!  But if one or both insist on "making it work" despite mounting evidence that says that there is no making anything work just making one another crazy, then outsiders just might force a break up.  Sometimes the neighbors, relatives, police and others affected by dating or domestic violence will sever the sick connection between victim and abuser.  Can you really blame them? Who wants to keep seeing a black and blue woman or man walking past them, screams from an apartment window that disrupt one's sleep, hear once again a body being pushed to the floor, cry because a daughter or son wants to break up but never does...and more!

For some, the point of no return just might be on Valentine's Day and to that, I will say Happy Valentine's Day to the victim turned survivor!  Here's to FREEDOM!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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