Good Days, Bad Days - The Life of Abused Victims

Those good days are mere teasers that play with your mind.  They make you feel like you are getting somewhere in a miserable relationship when you are really headed nowhere.  It's like a dead end or a one way street living with someone who is abusive.  You keep getting turned around and around.  It feels good driving down that road at first until you get to the brick wall at the end of the road.  At first, you are so grateful to be going somewhere, it appears like you are on your way until you get turned around yet again!  Then you start on what you think is a new path, you feel somewhat empowered at least for the moment until your abuser has a bad day.

He or she may have made you feel comfortable for a moment with that sweet look and loving touch. You might have falsely believed that this person was now confident in the relationship, trusted and loved you and really wanted to make things work until the other shoe drops and here we go again: ignoring, yelling, blaming, cursing, acting rudely, etc.

One day you are feeling up and the next down because of that person who holds a title in your life.  It becomes more and more challenging to deal with him or her when it feels like the weight of their issues are resting on your shoulders.  What good is talking when you have no plans on walking?

So the abusive man or woman who swindles you into believing once again that the relationship is headed somewhere is really nothing more than a mirage, a figment of your imagination, the old person always comes back.

Remember to exercise self-control when he or she returns. Don't allow this person to get the best of you, guard your heart.  Talk yourself into creating that exit strategy emotionally first then sooner or later the rest will follow.  For some, their feet can't move, but their minds can.  Rather than focus on your abuser, envision your future without him or her.  Sure feels nice or doesn't it?  There is much work to do if you are still holding to this person in your mind too.  Keep imagining a future without him or her.  Talk to God about your burdens.  Ask him to forgive you for your sins and make necessary life changes to bring peace and happiness to you (and possibly children).

Nicholl McGuire has written may books including Laboring to Love Myself.

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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