Tuesday

Losing Your Mind in an Abusive Relationship? Violent Spouse, Boyfriend

He thinks you don't pay attention to the money that suddenly goes missing, the keys that are moved, the odd times he shows up, and the excuses he makes. 

She doesn't think you know about what she has hidden away, who she has been talking to, and what she has been doing behind your back. 

The abuser says, "You don't know what you are talking about...I left it right there, I gave it back to you...that was just my friend on the phone...I never told you that!  Why are you asking me questions?  I didn't take anything from you!"

You feel like you are losing your mind in an emotionally abusive and/or violent relationship.  You second-guess yourself.  You get angry over little things, lose your temper more often, and sometimes plot revenge on your partner.  You could have sworn your mate told you something the other day he or she was supposed to do, but when questioned about it, the story changes.  You might even know someone going through something similar who has a boyfriend or girlfriend who often denies being here or there with another guy or girl, but you know something different.

Crazy-making exists in abusive relationships especially when your abuser isn't through with you yet!  If you are helpful to him or her, still do nice things, has made promises in the past to him or her that you have yet to fulfill, and continue to show love to your abusive mate, then he or she is going to create false stories in an effort to keep you hanging on.  Your abuser is going to pretend like you are the forgetful one, don't know what you are talking about, and may treat you like you are crazy.

A sneaky partner might encourage his or her lover/spouse to take more pills, do more drugs, drink more alcohol, or hang out with others just so that a partner isn't paying so much attention to him or her.  The manipulator doesn't want to be found out!  This person will create a world around you that makes you distrust family and friends, fear him or her, and make you feel like you are going insane at times.  All the while, he or she is helping his or herself to anything he or she can benefit from: body, time, family, your residence, your car, your workplace, associations, and anything else! 

An abusive boyfriend or girlfriend might remind you of your personal weaknesses by discouraging you from sharing any details of your life or his with others.  "You know you can't be stressed.  Remember the last time you told them something, how they treated you and me.  You know you can count on me, I love you baby."  The individual will act as if he or she sincerely cares about you. 
Meanwhile, an abusive partner is bleeding your finances dry, killing you softly with his cheating, telling you far too many lies than your mind can keep up with while periodically making threats or possibly physically harming you.

When you know that you are indeed losing your mind in the relationship is when you can't stand to cry another tear, listen to another one of your partner's many excuses, and you start to fantasize about hurtful things happening to him or her.  Before you do anything that might rob you of additional peace of mind or wish evil on this person, get out the relationship while your mind is still intact!

Remember, keep your brain sober, your heart guarded, and your network strong--you will need all three when the time comes to break free!

Nicholl McGuire
 

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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