Friday

Another Weekend of Sports, Attitude and Blame - Abusers

They gather around television screens and will boldly tell all females in the household or elsewhere, "Don't interrupt, find something to do...be quiet when the game is on!"  As a woman, it doesn't matter how much you think you know about the sport.  Like some churches won't permit women to stand at the pulpit, neither will some men accept women sharing their thoughts about a game without shutting them down, looking at them evilly, or waving their hand at them like they are annoying flies.

Now there is that one woman who isn't going to be ignored, and just might say a few too many things to a man who is already angry about the bad calls that are being made in a "scripted" game.  She might point out some legitimate things about what she sees and share her knowledge of "show business," but her timing is all wrong!  Just like it was wrong for her sister, friend, and others who were physically assaulted, because they said too much while the game is on, so will she.

Sometimes an abuser's negative attitude can last all day or even weeks at a time.  The slightest thing can set him off especially if he gambled and lost all his money.  He will blame anyone and everything for making him angry and even the dog or cat might experience a kick.  His friends might justify his venting about the game and why women should mind their own business or how unlucky they are or these guys just might speak out against his violent act while possibly having to defend themselves.

Drunks and drug users tend to verbally and physically assault wives, girlfriends and children.  Some of the worst beatings come after a favorite team lost.  Imagine getting yelled at and physically pushed, tripped or hit because your partner is in a bad mood over a game he is too old, fat, and inexperienced to play! 

Many men, brainwashed by fathers, grandfathers, and other relatives to be the next great player on some team, have crushed fantasies seated before large television screens across our land.  From having mid-life blues to carrying all sorts of anger within, they take out much of their hate on women.  They belittle the person and children they love, because their favorite team didn't win.  They have connected their spirits with a group's successes and failures.  They can't control the outcome no matter how much they study the game, holler at the screen, or spend money buying up tickets and merchandise. 

Sports is big business and the elitists aren't the least bit interested in playing fair and square--the outcome of many major games are pre-determined--do your research!  Just maybe if an abuser would take the time to learn more about scripted entertainment in advance of a major game, he could save himself from a headache and a stomach ache as a result of a bad game. And just maybe, he could relieve his partner and children from his wrath.  A favorite team is only a winning team if they can make a city much money, remember that.  (I grew up in Steeler Country and Pittsburgh is a gambling town, but I digress.)

Anyway, the pain that one experiences when in a relationship with a sports fanatic affects loved ones in so many different ways either you have those who are fanatical like the abuser, could care less about the game, or are somewhat balanced but have hidden issues.  Children who have grown up with abusers, who are sports fans, tend to steer away from certain sports when they have repeatedly witnessed the negativity that dad displays when they are on.  Some don't show much interest in joining a team or tend to have far too much interest. 

Wives become increasingly irritated and may leave the home when sports are on TV only to return to an angry man when they are over.  Those who are around abusers can grow to hate anything that reminds them of those times they got beaten.  Personally, for a long time I hated the Lakers, one of the best teams in basketball, not because of who they are, but because of what they reminded me of.  The abusive man's personality always changed when the team lost and he would start acting very moody with me as a result.  Some of our worst fights was when the Lakers were on.  It took years for me to be comfortable with someone watching them around me.

Abusers not only hurt the ones they love, but they also can wreck havoc on businesses.  Their mean-spirited nature is why many lose marriages, children, jobs, friends, and cause others not to enjoy simple entertainment in a fun atmosphere.  They yell and curse when their own children are playing in sports.  Threaten staff and act belligerent when they can't join a team.  And sometimes, get kicked out of bars because they drink themselves silly because they are unable to handle their emotions while a game is on. 

Please be advised that encouraging more sports watching, joining teams, getting involved in sports gaming, and more with these abusive types is absolutely the wrong things to do!  It just gives them more reason to get angry when they or a team loses.  These unstable minds will take out their frustrations on others.  Abusers are not logical, they have triggers like time bombs that when set, they explode.

So many women will be walking on egg-shells in their residences when major games are on, praying to their heavenly Father to keep them and their children safe from an abusive person living in the home with a love of sports. 

Say a prayer for all.

Nicholl McGuire 

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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