Wednesday

Back Together Again with Abuser - "Be Happy for Us"

There will always be that couple who is in a turbulent relationship claiming they are breaking up only to get back together.  During their honeymoon period, they really wish that, "Everyone would be happy for us!"  Really?  Let us remind our relatives and friends who are in these violent arrangements the following:

1.  Your abusive partner will curse/cheat/lie/hit and do anything else he/she has gotten away with in the past again and again, and again.

2.  Keep in mind you both have a mental or personality disorder that you have yet to address.  If you attend church, the leadership would say you need deliverance from demonic spirits.  There is just no reasoning or accepting abuse.  The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

3.  You are unwise if you believe that things are going to get better because your abuser simply said, "I won't do it again, I promise...you know I love you...I want very much for our family to be together!"

4.  The reality is that no matter what a victim does, it is never good enough for the abuser.  Sooner or later the crying of the children will trigger negative emotions, the bills will produce stress, the in-laws will awaken the beast, and the job will give an abuser a head-ache, how might an angry man or woman react under that kind of pressure?  How about the abuser will emotionally and physically harm anyone who causes him or her discomfort?  (Even an animal in the home is subject to an abuser's wrath.)

5.  What did you miss out on the last time you both broke up?  Was it money/opportunity/personal assets/a romantic interest etc.?  Is being back with an abuser really worth losing more things in the future?

6.  Listen to your loved ones including children when they verbalize, write, or draw out their concerns.  This just might have been the last time you came out alive and now you are back with the abuser.  Sleep with one eye open.  Watch what you say and do--don't make him or her jealous.  Have the police on speed dial.  Save your money, you will need it. 

Nicholl McGuire author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic, Laboring to Love Myself and other books. Visit YouTube, click here.

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.