Wednesday

How to Know Your Boyfriend Doesn't Love You

What is your definition of love? How do you determine whether a person loves you or not? Many people define love based on what they have witnessed their parents and other relatives say and do when it comes to love. Others may not have found what exactly love is amongst the people they know; therefore, they look toward books, movies, and music. Once they have found a definition of love they can agree with, they will show love in the way they feel most comfortable.

Do you know what your mate's definition of love is and does it align with yours? The following information will help you assess your own definition of love, understand his meaning of love, and whether or not it is even worth staying in a relationship.

What is your personal definition of love?

In order to determine what is your personal definition of love, you will have to process what it is not. We all know that love is not a hot moment in bed, a thoughtful card, financial help, physical attributes and other actions that are many times temporal and hold no real substance. In some relationships, the minute you anger me and I anger you, what we thought was love goes out the window and then we are contemplating whether we are a good match for one another. Those things we did for one another just aren't enough to say, "I love you!"

You have heard people say that love is action. What would your boyfriend have to do to show you that he sincerely loves you? By knowing the answer to this question, you will be able to determine if this is a part of your definition of love. You may also want to think about what were some of the things that he and others have done and said that made you feel as if they sincerely love you.

Let's think about the people around you who you know without a doubt sincerely love you. A clear sign they love you seems to have a pattern in their behavior toward you through good times and bad. For instance, when you have made them their angriest time and time again, they still pick up the phone and call you, acknowledge your birthday, share their personal dramas with you, listen to your stories, cry with you, comfort you and all around make you feel better. They are excited for you when good things happen to you. They make an effort to be with you on some of your most important days. You know that this is love in action.

Now think about your boyfriend. When you first dated, you may have taken the time to talk about your feelings for one another. Ask yourself the following:

How did it make you feel when he told you that he loved you?

Did he provide details as to what it is about you that made him fall in love with you?

Did what he tell you seem to provide the foundation that you two needed to grow the relationship?

These are questions you may already know the answer, but then again, maybe not. The relationship could have begun so quickly that you never bothered to explore what is your definition of love.

Do you understand his meaning of love?

Now that you have established what is your personal definition of love, it is time to think about his. If you have already asked him, "Do you love me?" and he simply replies yes. Then in order for you to feel more at ease, you may want to probe. "What exactly is it about me that you love? What is your definition of love?" Now he may tell you that he loves your hair, smile, eyes, walk, your talents, etc. However, you may be looking for something a bit more. If he isn't a good communicator, you may never be satisfied with his answers. Instead, think about the things he has said and done in the past, present, and what he has promised he'll do in the future. It won't be long before you realize that what he is saying and what he is doing isn't matching up that is why you are reading this article.

Now think about what you have done for him. Do you feel that you are the one that is holding the relationship together? If your answer is no, then you need to ask yourself whether or not you really love this man. You should be making contributions to the relationship by telling him positively how you feel, appreciating him for what he does for you, inviting him to places with you, surprising him with gifts, etc. However, if you are the one holding the relationship together and after repeatedly talking with him about your feelings, showing him how much you love him and still he has yet to respond in a loving manner, then you will have to determine whether this man even knows what it means to love.

Do you want to end the relationship?

After thinking about what it means to love and be loved and assessing whether your boyfriend sincerely loves you, now you will have to decide whether you want to end the relationship. Any woman who doesn't feel loved in a relationship has plenty reason to end it. Here is what happens when you know a man doesn't love you and he just won't tell you, yet you stay anyway.



Intimacy is absent. Deep kisses are now pecks on the cheek or nonexistent. Lovemaking happens at his convenience, not yours.

There is rarely any eye contact when he speaks or listens to you. He doesn't seem interested in what you have to say.

He disrespects you by not telling you where he is going, when he will be coming back and with whom he is going.

There is never time for you, because he is busy with job, family and friends.

Oftentimes he chooses to go places without you including visiting his family.

He rarely seems to share his thoughts and experiences with you. When he does, he is very careful to give you general information he knows he can't get a reaction from you.

You have caught him cheating. He promises he won't do it again, but he does anyway.

He is often critical of what you look like, what you say and do.

He often falsely accuses you of cheating on him to get you upset, so that he has an excuse to leave the home.

He talks negatively about you to family and friends.

He has text messages, voice mails, photos, and phone numbers of other women.

When you offer to sit down and talk with him about your concerns regarding the relationship, he finds an excuse to avoid the conversation.

If these signs and any others you may have noticed are showing up often in your relationship, you will need to end it for your own sanity. Don't allow someone to take advantage of you for their own personal gain. When it is clear they don't love you, end the relationship.

For more work by Nicholl McGuire Click Here

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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