Wednesday

Your Face Tells it All - Mistreated, Hurt & Confused

With so much going on in people's personal lives, you would think people in our nation wouldn't be living longer due to so much stress they are experiencing.  Yet they survive and with some, barely.

Men and women going through much trial, cover up their personal woes with laughs, nods, winks, eye-catching attire, expensive automobiles, and fabulous homes.  But those of us who have been mistreated recognize those who are going through much.  We can see through the smoke and mirrors.  Delusional people lie to themselves and others about what is really going on at home and caution children, "Don't tell or else..."

The eyes don't lie and yesteryear's bruises tell dark stories on victims' faces.  An abusive spouse or partner rarely admits that he or she is wrong when battles increase.  He or she may have once apologized almost immediately after an offense, but in time admitting to one's faults becomes a rare thing to do.  The mean-spirited partner has grown accustomed to getting away with verbal and/or physical abuse.

A victim's face in photographs, riding in a car next to a partner, while on the phone talking to him/her, or when a spouse's name is mentioned reveals much.  The mood is soon to follow.  An air of tension, negativity, and sometimes impatience, irritability or an unexplained emotional outburst is sure to follow.  When the victim is asked, "Are you okay?  Is everything alright?"  There is a negative tone of voice or a hurried statement, "Fine...Good.  The same.  Must you ask?  Let's talk about something else."  Witnesses eventually stop asking since they aren't the least bit interested in being drawn into the victim's negative space.

So when those in these troubled relationships wonder, "How does family/relative/friend know about me?  Who talked about my relationship?  What is wrong?"  Discerning people know better.  No one didn't have to tell them anything, a victim's face tells it all.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic.

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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