10 Ways To Survive A Breakup

Recently, you may have received some news that an emotionally and/or physically abusive mate no longer wants to be committed to you.  Although you may have handled the news well in front of his or her face, inside you feel like dying.  The heartache, stomachache and headache you may have experienced or are still experiencing seems like it will never leave.  However, there is hope!  It may take some time to see the sun in your life, but eventually you will see it and it will shine down on you.  Storms never last for always.  The following suggestions are listed to help you heal through the break up.

1) Escape the past.

You created memories with your former mate when you visited certain places, listened to favorite songs, and introduced them to the people that you loved.  However, it is time to give yourself the freedom from those past images, places, and people for a time until you are mentally strong to handle memories that will come upon your mind and possible negative comments from curious family and friends about the relationship.

2) Treat yourself.

It may have been awhile since you have experienced some time alone.  In the past, you may have used your personal time to think of his or her needs.  Now is the time, if you haven’t already, to put your needs first.  Ask yourself what was it that you compromised for the relationship?  If it was something that was beneficial to you mentally and physically and did not cause you or anyone else any harm, consider doing it again (this doesn’t mean drugs, pornography, alcohol or some other negative habit.)  For instance, you may have been very active in a hobby and spent less time at home until he or she came into your life, take up what interests you again.

3) Visit with friends and family.

Some of your friends and family may have commented that ever since you met him or her, you don’t spend any time with them.  Now is the time to catch up with them and apologize if you are guilty for neglecting your healthy relationships.  In the future, you may want to schedule a healthy balance of time between your new mate, family, and friends.

4) Check out self-improvement guides, videos and counseling.

Don’t strike these items from your plan to heal from your break up.  There are many informative books that detail others experiences and how they managed to move on after a break up.  You will learn much from others’ stories and will be better able to handle relationship issues in the future when you accept constructive criticism.

5) Develop a career plan.

Sometimes a career objective is neglected when one is in a time consuming relationship.  If you really want to tell the world you are back and better than ever, do something that will fatten your wallet.  If you need to obtain additional education, then do it.  Wouldn’t it be nice to bump into your ex five years from now driving a car you always wanted, living in a house you always dreamed of, and most of all in love with someone who is so much better than him or her?

6) Plan a vacation.

You may have wanted to go somewhere that your ex didn’t want to visit.  Money may have also been a problem, because you were busily spending it on him or her, now you can indulge yourself.  Consider going alone or with a friend who has a great personality and money to spend.

7) Go to church / attend support group meetings.

There are many people who attend church not for religious reasons, but for spiritual ones.  They understand the need to look outside themselves when dealing with a challenging circumstance.  They know that there is someone or something greater than them and so they put their selves in a place with others who believe like they do.  You may want to associate yourself with people who are hopeful, positive, and willing to provide advice that may help you in your future relationships.

8) Take up a hobby.

With all your mental energy spent from thinking about your former mate, you may want to take up a hobby that will occupy both your mind and body.  Do something that isn’t demanding, strenuous and overwhelming.  The key when selecting a hobby is to find something that will bring out everything positive in you both mentally and physically.  You will know that you have picked something that is really befitting for yourself when people will comment positively on how you look and the way you act. 

9) Check out new entertainment.

When you have taken the time to do everything else on this list, why not throw a party?  You owe it to yourself to have a little fun with the people that you love the most.  If that is too much for you, then make time to go to a movie, bowling alley, sporting event, concert or some other place that will positively add to your life memories.  By getting out and about, you are discovering new things, creating an interesting life that you can share with the next person you meet, and distracting your mind from thinking about your past.

10) Start dating again.

There is no set time on how much one will spend healing from a break up.  Some people need years to heal; others may only need weeks, whatever it takes for you to heal utilize this time wisely.  Looking for a replacement is not the healthy way to get over someone; instead, you will find that not long into the new relationship you will be recreating a similar one from the past.  Your new mate will notice you haven’t moved on from the past and will break up with you.  It is better to take the time to do what makes you happy first!   Once you feel comfortable with yourself and what you need to achieve in life that satisfies you, then pursue a relationship with someone who has similar interests.  Be prepared to accept the new mate with flaws and all.  Tell yourself that he or she isn’t perfect and as you learn more about him or her, make a decision of what you will and will not accept in this new relationship before it gets too serious.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Face Your Foe on Confronting the Critics, Laboring to Love Myself, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, When Mothers Cry, and many other books, check one out today!