Tuesday

Time Your Exit Based on Safety Concerns, Supportive Network and Above Everything Else Personal Desire

So you have established the fact that a partner is mentally or physically damaging to your health, wealth, and other areas of your life.  Now what?

1.  How safe do you feel in this difficult relationship at least for the time being?

If you feel like an abusive partner is just waiting for any opportunity to strike again whether verbally or physically and you know full well you are going to go off like a maniac, then it is safe to say, you need to do what you can to end this relationship soon rather than later.

2.  Who do you know or could contact to help you send a partner packing or assist you out the door?

If you have no one to help you get away from your abuser, there are resources (scroll to the bottom of blog) to help guide you from an escape plan to filing for a divorce.  One of the first things you will need to do is find a place away from the abuser (be sure you don't tell the batterer nothing about your whereabouts seek additional counseling especially when children are involved) or use law enforcement to escort him or her out of the residence.

3.  How bad do you want to end the relationship?

If you are still "soft" for your partner, you know "in like" or "love" and still feel like "things will get better" then you are not ready to leave.  Every survivor who was truly sincere about leaving their mean mates might have left many times and then returned, but eventually they made up their minds, "I've had enough of this sh*t!"  If you are still making excuses for the abuser, defending him or her, pretending that you have a great relationship on places like Facebook, and telling yourself and others a bunch of lies about the abusive man or woman to make you and this person look good, you haven't been hurt enough to want to end the relationship for good.

When you know that you are indeed ready to sever ties or partially cut them off due to children, you will need to plan an exit when the individual is away from home.  Don't try to be that one who attempts to make a partner feel bad by making a grand scene as you or the abuser walks out the door.  Unfortunately, many people have died just before they experienced their freedom.  Remember if the one who has repeatedly hurt you really cared about you then why abuse you?  He or she might be emotional because you want out. But he or she will also be upset, due to the fact that this person no longer has someone to pick on, blame, use, and abuse.

Also, don't rush to leave a partner just because someone is pressuring you.  People like this may feel like "you better...you must..." particularly if your situation is like breaking news to them.  We aren't in your household only you know when you're ready to go.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel nmenterprise7

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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