Attentive, Common Interests, Loving, Sexual, Intoxicating, Exciting and More - The Crash and Burn

Watch for signs...the early days of meeting one's abuser.

Narcissists, borderline personalities, anti-socials all exploit people!

 

He or she was so wonderful in the beginning of the relationship, but that all changed...

 

These people establish a fake common bond like you both have similar interests.  Then in time, you find out you don't have as much in common as you originally thought, you were deceived!  These troubled men and women are sexually uninhibited, they are open to doing almost anything in or out of the bedroom!

When irritated or angered about someone or something, they often blame and exaggerate situations.  They are liars!  View their eyes at times they look empty, dead or soulless.  These individuals with their various personality disorders (typically more than one) are moody and move quickly to have sex.  They don't love, they lust! These lonesome and difficult people rush to get married, have babies, buy property, and more just to feel good about their lives without giving thought to all their personal issues or those of others.

They will attempt to move you away from your social circles on or off the Internet.  They convince you to relocate when you don't need or want to--they want you to follow their dreams and being that you may be in love with them, you do it!  They gradually take over your finances expecting you to foot their bills and invest in their ideas.  Check your bank account and savings and compare those numbers with the ones you had prior to meeting them!  You broke yet?  Are you in significant debt as a result of going along with their programming?  They take far more than they give!

They use partners as babysitters, benefactors, maids, and more while boasting about "How you are better than anyone I have ever been with...I love you so much and I never want us to be a part...You will always be my baby!"  They are very sweet and nice with words and mannerisms when they think you might be on to their games.

If you should confront them on their wrongs, they may be verbally or physically abusive over time.  If they should act out of character while the relationship is still new, they might seek your pity.  "I don't know what got into me...I'm sorry.  You know I just lost my mother...My dad is ill.  The job is stressful."

Selfish, self-hating men and women, who also put on acts as if they are perfect, better than others, more successful, etc. will find ways to belittle you especially when you accomplish much or they see the potential in you.

Abusive partners will at times make you feel sorry for them.  They will tell long stories sometimes void of facts so you will empathize with them.  "I'm a single dad...my woman left me..."  Meanwhile, they don't indicate they were a serial cheater, emotionally and/or physically abusive to their former partners.  "He didn't understand me.  I was so good to him."  But the damsel in distress won't admit those times she was acting in mean and controlling ways that pushed her ex away.

These people are hot and cold in their emotions.  They can switch from love then to hate toward not only partners but family members too.  They are not capable of loving you or anyone else.  Don't believe their hype!

Your choice, your battle, your issues...but whatever you do, don't close your eyes and pretend like you don't see that elephant that you allowed to walk into your life and crush everything that is in its path.  Chances are your social circle sees the truth and all they can do is shake their heads. Abusive people are interested in power, control and sex.  They enjoy the chase, like to play mind games and observe your reactions.  They draw you in and once they have you, their masks fall off.  You are not in a relationship, but a war.  To the believer, welcome to spiritual warfare up close and personal.

Nicholl McGuire, Blog Owner