Saturday

He Fights You Instead of Fighting Those in the World Who Has Hurt Him

Fearful of unleashing his emotions on the person who caused him so much pain, he takes his issues out on you--the woman who loves him. 

He is angry at a single man or a group.  He ignores, yells, complains, and acts as if it is your fault that he has failed yet again in his decision-making.  You show him the truth about himself, and he hates you for it.  He smiles at everyone else, but you.  He talks at length with everyone else, but you.  He acts interested in everyone else, but you.  This is a different kind of abuse, an emotional kind that if experienced for any length of time can prematurely age you and drive you mad if you let it.

What woman wants to stay in a relationship with a miserable man who acts in threatening ways?  A man who doesn't respond unless confronted about his actions and then when he is told about them, he uses reverse psychology.  He refuses to hold himself accountable for his lackluster personality when it comes to his mate and children.  He doesn't want to admit that he conducts himself very rudely toward those he claims he loves.  He has threatening mannerisms when angry. 

He believes that his woman is supposed to simply understand.  But what might happen when she throws "understanding" out the window?  Her temper might rage one day to the point of no return.  She may scream, throw things, verbally or physically abuse the man who acts nice to everyone else, but her.  "Why should I put up with this...Who does he think he is?  I'll show him..." she tells herself.  A domestic situation most likely will result.  Meanwhile, the man might pretend as if he did nothing or said nothing to provoke such crazy behavior.

Discerning people can read the emotionally abusive man.  He typically acts strangely, withdrawn, weird at times.  He doesn't smile much, if not at all.  He seems to be aloof, caught up in a world all his own.  Every now and then his inner self comes out and interacts with the world around him before he goes into hiding.  He is like a psychopath, uncaring and may use his spirituality as a front to cover the strange person within.  He is disappointed with himself, but he can't express it, because he doesn't want to appear weak.  

The strange man fights the one he claims he loves, yet acts like a coward in the world.  Other men notice his weaknesses and don't have much to say to him.  They point out his strange ways to others, but just so long as he seems to have a decent personality, they don't care much. 

Emotionally abusive men wouldn't last one round in the ring with a mentally strong male.  They would most likely find a way to "act" their way out of trouble.  "Man let's just settle this...Let's be smart about this...I don't want to fight."  Yet, with women, look out!  These weak-minded men are ready to fight these women over the littlest thing they say whether with words, fists or both.

If this should describe a man you know, do find your strength within you and work a plan that will get you to a place of emotional safety.  You may have to leave him or he might have to leave you.  Emotionally abusive men rarely change.  If they are older, they are stubborn in their ways.  Do what is in your power to free yourself while you still have your sanity.  Emotionally abusive men will drive you crazy and then call you crazy as if they had nothing to do with hurting you in the first place.

Nicholl McGuire
 

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.