Here are many signs one must watch out for when involved or married to someone who is mean, sometimes nice, mean, sometimes nice and so on to you and others. If the pattern of verbal and/or physical abuse is allowed to continue, you best believe you have yourself a manipulative, emotionally abusive partner. Most women and men settle because they are already caught in their abusers' webs. They are often defensive, unhappy, jealous of others, and mean-spirited just like the abusive men and women they have partnered with.
1. Spouse or lover rarely if ever comforts you--isn't that interested in your "issues."
2. Doesn't apologize when at fault.
3. You don't feel beautiful around him or her. Compliments are rationed out, insults (or jokes) are given, or nothing is said at all.
4. You are used like a puppet on strings to finance trips, pay household bills, clean home, perform errands, cook, babysit, assist with past due items, etc. meanwhile you have no clue as to what your partner does with his or her money. When the abuser is questioned he or she is visibly offended.
5. The things the individual tells you when it comes to the status of the relationship doesn't reflect what he or she actually does or thinks of you. You still feel used, out of your mind, walking on egg shells, and more.
6. Your partner will make suggestions on how you should style your hair, clothes you should wear and other things to suit his or her fantasy.
7. You work far too hard on making the relationship work while your partner doesn't do much but provide lip service.
8. When others offend you, your partner isn't the least bit interested in taking your side on anything.
9. You are not as important as his or her things, social circle, personal interests, etc.
10. He or she is not happy about being married. If he or she isn't this person doesn't plan on marrying anytime soon if ever.
11. The spouse or lover may or may not go along with counseling, but even after sessions it's more of the same and in some cases things get worse because he or she doesn't want to be viewed unfavorably by anyone and doesn't want problems getting out to others.
12. He or she is frequently angry and will use silent treatment, curse, belittle, threaten, damage property, and do other things all the while blaming you for all that goes wrong.
13. Looks for ways to trick you into doing for him or her even after you have established boundaries from paying for the abuser's bills to a divorce.
14. Hates the fact that sooner or later you will see the abuser for what he or she truly is, so there is a lot of lying that takes place during the relationship from where he or she goes to what the individual says about you to others.
Wake up! If you are experiencing these things, look forward to more of the same in the New Year.
Nicholl McGuire
2. Doesn't apologize when at fault.
3. You don't feel beautiful around him or her. Compliments are rationed out, insults (or jokes) are given, or nothing is said at all.
4. You are used like a puppet on strings to finance trips, pay household bills, clean home, perform errands, cook, babysit, assist with past due items, etc. meanwhile you have no clue as to what your partner does with his or her money. When the abuser is questioned he or she is visibly offended.
5. The things the individual tells you when it comes to the status of the relationship doesn't reflect what he or she actually does or thinks of you. You still feel used, out of your mind, walking on egg shells, and more.
6. Your partner will make suggestions on how you should style your hair, clothes you should wear and other things to suit his or her fantasy.
7. You work far too hard on making the relationship work while your partner doesn't do much but provide lip service.
8. When others offend you, your partner isn't the least bit interested in taking your side on anything.
9. You are not as important as his or her things, social circle, personal interests, etc.
10. He or she is not happy about being married. If he or she isn't this person doesn't plan on marrying anytime soon if ever.
11. The spouse or lover may or may not go along with counseling, but even after sessions it's more of the same and in some cases things get worse because he or she doesn't want to be viewed unfavorably by anyone and doesn't want problems getting out to others.
12. He or she is frequently angry and will use silent treatment, curse, belittle, threaten, damage property, and do other things all the while blaming you for all that goes wrong.
13. Looks for ways to trick you into doing for him or her even after you have established boundaries from paying for the abuser's bills to a divorce.
14. Hates the fact that sooner or later you will see the abuser for what he or she truly is, so there is a lot of lying that takes place during the relationship from where he or she goes to what the individual says about you to others.
Wake up! If you are experiencing these things, look forward to more of the same in the New Year.
Nicholl McGuire
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