Abusive people are only happy when they feel in control and can exercise their demands on others. Keep idolizing them while making these mean-spirited people feel like you can't live without them and you just might not be punished by them at least for awhile. However, cross them, rebel, or do something you desire to do and before long you are walking on thin ice with them. The violent type will sooner or later attack as some of you already know.
Now if you have yet to experience that suffocating, walking on egg shells, stomach-churning, and nervous feeling that angry men and women bring out of their victims then give it some time, stick it out with them long enough and your head and gut will be affected by them.
Nicholl McGuire has written She's Crazy and Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men for victims or potential ones.